the momspot--a spot for moms (mostly)

gluten and casein free

2009-02-13T15:30:00.003-06:00

Well, it's been a long time since I've posted anything. It has been a whirlwind of activity combine with lots of waiting! But we are getting somewhere. There's lots I could share about the journey so far, but this week we have been somewhat focused on putting Lewis on the gluten free and casein free diet (GFCF) that I'll choose to write about that first.

Lewis has historically been a very picky eater so this diet was the last thing I've wanted to do. His favorite foods are ones of the cracker and cereal variety--hard crunchy and made mostly of flour! But the transition has been relatively easy. We had taken him off of regular milk a while ago, and have settled on Rice milk for the moment because it is cheaper and soy free. For now we are avoiding anything with gluten: wheat, oats, barley and their derivatives, soy and milk products. That eliminates a whole lot of things. The foods Lewis no longer can eat in our pantry: cereal bars, Goldfish crackers, graham crackers, animal crackers, pretzels, oreos, Cheerios, Kix cereal (though there is a version I think he can eat) and chocolate; and from the fridge: yogurt and chicken nuggets.

He still can eat fruit, veggies (he will only eat sweet potatoes and squash pureed), beans (his current fave), marshmallows, Smarties, most potato chips, french fries, meat (chicken nuggets are the only meat he has eaten lately), and of course GFCF versions of things.

We got GFCF versions of Cheerios and Kix, called PerkyO's and Gorilla Munch, which he seems to like okay. He's eating some Veggie Chips from Trader Joe's that are really good and provide some veggie intake. Most notably though he is eating homemade chicken nuggets. I'm dipping chicken in cornstarch, then in egg, and finally rolling it in crushed potato chips with some herbs and spices which I then fry in olive oil. They taste great, but are different and the breading slips off fairly easily. Still, in front of his video Lewis doesn't seem to mind.

We are making sure he eats beans every day too, which should help with his protein intake. All in all I think he is actually eating more than he did before.

The thing that really frustrated me though, was that in the paperwork from my doctor encouraging us to take on this diet, all kinds of other things were included as stuff to avoid too.

Now you may have gotten this far and are thinking--why GFCF? What is the point? In kids with ASD (autism spectrum disorder) the enzymes in gluten and casein are thought in many cases, to not get broken down properly in the body. What results is an opiate effect which leaves these kids in a sort of "high" state where their brains can't function properly or learn well. It would be like walking around drunk all the time and trying to learn to talk. Many of the self-stimming behaviors are thought to be a result of this altered state and so 65% of kids with autism actually show great improvement when gluten and casein are removed. Many make great gains verbally after starting the diet.

So in my mind I'm thinking--okay, it will be tough, but we can do this. It's expensive, yes, but it could be well worth it! But then I started reading that we should avoid sugar, and pre-packaged chips and every preservative in the world, and I almost gave up. This info even said that apples and bananas are the worst of the fruits (due to sugar levels) and should be limited. That was really discouraging because Lewis most regularly eats bananas mixed with natural applesauce, or grapes. He tolerates other fruits sometimes, but it is much harder to get him to eat those things.

We don't make a lot of money so it is a stretch for us anyway. But I kept thinking that if gluten and casein are the real problem, why make it so much harder by adding all these other things to the list? It would be like telling a drug addict that along with LSD they needed to give up coffee, fast food and chocolate too. Just knock out all your bad habits at once! It makes sense that all organic foods are best without dyes or preservatives.....it's just not possible for us right now. Lewis has to eat SOMETHING!

So, all this to say, we are gluten and casein free, and we are avoiding soy as much as possible (trace amounts of soy are okay by me at this point) and I feel like we are doing great. There are a host of supplements we'll be trying in the near future too, along with our ABA program and hopefully the combination will make a difference.

moving on

2008-12-23T15:22:00.002-06:00

So my last post was me sharing my anger with the world. Forgive me! I actually sent a letter to "Ed" apologizing for offending him and explaining a little more of where we were coming from. Hopefully we can all move on with our lives!

Last week, our new speech therapist came. She seems great. I was skeptical because she was the only one available and we usually get to pick from 20 or so people. When I have no option like this, I have to believe that maybe God picked her for us. She came in on Friday and asked a lot of questions about Lewis and the type of therapy we think he needs. We told her about our plan to get an ABA program in place and she offered to use the program during her appointments! I was thrilled, and even shocked that she is so accommodating. She has a cousin with autism so she is familiar with what we are going through and even applauded us for making an appointment with a DAN doctor. These are docs who test kids to see if they have food sensitivities or could benefit from biomedical interventions. Most regular doctors or therapists think all that kind of thing is wacky (even though there is lots of evidence to show it works), so I was really excited that she seems to be a kindred spirit.

She knows that biomedical stuff (gluten/casein free diet etc.) does not work for every child, but it works for enough of them that it is worth a shot.

It was really refreshing to not have to fight with someone during a whole session. What a relief! So we are on our way to something good, we hope.

This is a busy time of year, and it can get very stressful navigating kids through all the events without having a moment to slow down to reflect and ponder our Savior coming to earth as an infant of all things. What a beautiful picture of God's creative and tender heart! I don't have any inspiring words, but hope that you enjoy the season, and welcome in a new beginning in 2009. As my sister has been saying, "2008 can't be over soon enough!" We're ready for a new year. Merry Christmas!

a little vent

2008-12-10T14:29:00.004-06:00

Rarely do I find myself extremely angry, but when it comes to my kids it is more likely to happen. If you are a mom you know what I mean. I'm not talking about getting angry AT my kids, but in relation to someone else involved in their lives. In this case I'm talking about our most recent speech therapist (SLP). If you have followed our blog at all, you know that Lewis is basically nonverbal. He has no words, and only a few sounds. Since we started with Kentucky's early intervention program last year, Lewis has fewer sounds, but we are starting to recover some of them.

You may find it hard to believe that indeed we have had speech therapy consistently over the last 14 months. You'd think we'd be making more progress, right? Well, yesterday at the end our speech therapy session we were informed that it would be the last with this SLP. We had already started the process to find someone new, but this guy, we'll call him Ed, took it upon himself to voice his irritation with us, and me in particular, for questioning his techniques and "yelling" at him during last week's session.

He thought he was making great progress with Lewis, but that in 21 years of experience had never had a parent yell at him before. Let me explain the scenario: Last week, Ed was working with Lewis and getting him to identify body parts on a picture of a baby in a book he had. He was then trying to get Lewis to touch his own nose or whatever it was. He'd say, "Touch YOUR nose!" very loudly, but Lewis was focused on the book and seemed to not even register was Ed was saying. After this went on for several minutes (and we only have 45), I said rather loudly, "Try taking the book away so that he can't get to it and ask him again."

Ed seemed irritated by my suggestion, but he did it and it worked at least once (though he said yesterday it didn't work at all). But yesterday he said I yelled at him, and that we didn't seem to have confidence in what he was doing with our son. Well, gee, why would we not have confidence in his techniques?! He's only been getting paid $80/hr. to play with our child without figuring out a way to encourage him to produce a single new sound....or even to more commonly use the few he has. He finished his mini lecture with something about how after his 21 years of experience in working with kids that of course he is an expert on what kids like and need and that he knows what he is doing yadda yadda yadda.

Funny, because a month or so ago I took one of the many toys Ed brought....with Lewis squealing....and said, "Do you want it back? Say 'guh guh.'" Lewis responded, "Guh guh!" and Ed said, "Let me try that." He then repeated the exercise and Lewis vocalized again. When I, a lowly uneducated parent, have to show my SLP how to get my child to make sounds, it's disappointing to say the least. But there again is the factor in regard to autism--I know my own child. Autistic kids learn differently, and not just from normal kids, but from other autistic kids too. There are ways to teach them that tend to work, but a parent's knowledge should be used and abused to make the most of whatever techniques are tried.

One last irritation with Ed. A few months ago, when it was becoming obvious that Lewis had a bigger problem, I asked Ed about techniques with autistic kids, and if we got such a diagnosis would he do therapy differently. He said no, that he would do exactly the same thing, and almost belittled our desire for a diagnosis saying that parents just want something to hang their hat on for blame or whatever. The one bright spot in getting a diagnosis, in Ed's opinion, was that we would qualify for more services so that professionals could help our child more.

I said, "Well, isn't the point of First Steps to train parents so that we can figure out ways to teach our kids when the therapists aren't here?" He said it was partly, but that in his experience that parents don't have time or the expertise to worry about such things, and that we really needed to get more therapy time in order to make a difference. To which I said, "I am here, and I have the time and would love for you to show me things I can do when you're not here." But Ed had nothing to offer.

Other parents have laughed with me about the worthlessness of SLPs with autistic kids. I'd say there are really good ones out there who do more than blow bubbles and yell "Pop!" but they are few and far between. We picked a new one today, and we haven't met her yet, but I hope and pray that she is good enough to pick up on Lewis' interests or at least listen to us when we try and help. But I will also do my best not to 'yell' at her either. I certainly did not love Ed's practices but I did not mean to offend him or hurt his ego. Experience is best utilized when the one using it is willing to adapt to the situation at hand. Hopefully we'll all learn something from this somehow.

spiritual development disorder

2008-11-19T15:44:00.000-06:00

It has been a long time since my last post. We have been researching and waiting and last week we got our answer: Our son has autism. It has been a sad journey to this place of reality that our child has a real problem, and one that could be with him his entire life. We have so many questions--Will he ever talk? Will we ever be able to communicate with him on any kind of deep level? Will he ever understand God or spiritual things?

Through it all, I wish I could say that I've been holding steadfast to my faith and trusting God at every turn. I'm sorry to say that my response has been less than faithful. It is so easy to trust God with other people's problems, or even my own problems....but when it comes to my child, it is so much harder for some reason. I want him to have a life, and to be successful and accepted by his peers. It causes me much heartache to know that he is so different and will most likely endure much hardship in his future. It is more painful to watch than to endure yourself sometimes.

That being said, I have been reading so much about autism and the disorder that it is in communication and social settings. It frustrates me so much that Lewis can't understand when I'm trying to do something good for him (take him to the park etc.) and because initially he has to wait or we have to get in the car, he throws a fit and protests, unable to be quiet and listen to me explain what is going on. Sometimes I even shout "I'm trying to make you happy!"

Today I realized that I'm the same way with God. I was preparing for a Bible study the ladies in my church are doing about grace. One scripture reference was Philippians 3:8 where Paul has been bragging about his staunch righteous in keeping the law. He writes starting in vs. 7--

"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish that I may gain Christ....."

Basically Paul is saying that we can try to have a righteousness on our own from our good works which will always fall short......OR we can set all of that aside and come to Christ through faith in his good work done on the cross and gain HIS righteousness.....merely by admitting we can't do it on our own and that we NEED him.

Now that is profound. But what struck me was that little part about the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ. Somewhere in my despair I forgot that Christ is a person. He is a relational being who gave up all so that we could know him. I've been shaking my fists in the air asking "why?" which is understandable, but I've been thinking about God like some passive monarch sitting in heaven saying, "Oh look, Shelley's been impatient. Let's give her a real challenge and let her build some character." And I'm embarrassed that I have given in to such lies.

So while Lewis has a social and communicative development disorder, I have a disorder of my own, and one that needs fast attention because I'm going to need him desperately in the coming years. Thank God that He is a gracious and forgiving HEALER. I know he can heal Lewis and I'm certain he can heal me. Will he heal Lewis? I don't know. I have to live with the reality that Lewis may never call me 'mama' or be able to pay his own bills. But either way, Jesus is a person who wants to walk with me through this and give me the strength to get through each day. And more than likely he has a plan that is going to make me better in the end.

It's hard to lay it down and believe that someone else has more at stake here. It's hard to believe Jesus loves Lewis more than me, but I know it's true. And there's nowhere else to go. Only Christ can bring healing, spiritually or otherwise.

Obviously there will be much more on this to come......but this is a start.

CHAT

2008-10-13T06:56:00.004-06:00

We have recently 'celebrated' our year anniversary enrolled in our state's early intervention program called First Steps. Lewis is now 27 months old, and has made great strides in his gross motor development though he still could use improvement there. Our big concern continues to be his communication skills. He is currently functioning at a 0-10 month level, and honestly we are hearing a better variety of sounds coming from our 3 month old. After months of worry mixed with hope that all the well-meaning friends and family might be right that Lewis is really fine and would catch up because plenty of people don't talk until they are 3 or 4, right? We have heard every story of every late talker in a reasonable radius (and even Albert Einstein) who happened to start talking late, but when they did they talked in sentences clear as day. And we appreciate people trying to be kind and trying to encourage us, but unfortunately we are needing real answers to a very real problem.

So I've been doing a lot of research. I read a book recently called The Late Talker which outlined several possible reasons why children have speech delays. This book focused on apraxia, a condition where a person knows what he or she wants to say but can't get it out. It is a muscle condition where the brain is unable to translate a desired message into the physical response needed to produce words, sounds or motions. We related to some of the stuff in this book, but then moved on to Lynn Hamilton's Facing Autism.

The author's son has a lot of similarities to mine. But what I appreciate about this book is her clear outlining of diagnostic tools for autism. I am disappointed to say that neither of our therapists, our pediatrician or anyone else ever asked us anything related to these items when trying to figure out what is wrong with Lewis. We heard things like "Does he make eye contact?" or "Does he show affection?" which could relate to autistic tendencies, but are not central to the issue. We don't know for sure if our son is autistic, but because of these tools, we should have a diagnosis in the near future through an intense level evaluation in Louisville.

In the meantime, I wanted to document some of this stuff for our own use, but also to let others out there know what to really look for in your child or other kids you are around so that we can really be helpful to one another and not give false hope.

One very helpful tool is the CHAT (Checklist for Autism in Toddlers) that was developed by a group of British doctors and can be used on children as young as 18 months. The key points of the test are A-5, A-7, B-ii, B-iii, and B-iv (marked by * below). If a child fails ALL the key points, there is an extremely good probability of autism.

Section A: Ask parent

1. Does your child enjoy being swung, bounced on your knee, etc.?
2. Does your child take an interest in other children?
3. Does your child like climbing on things, such as stairs?
4. Does your child enjoy playing peek-a-boo or hide-and-seek?
5. Does your child ever PRETEND, for example, to make a cup of tea using a toy cup and teapot, or pretend other things?*
6. Does your child ever use his/her index finger to point, to ASK for something?
7. Does your child ever use his/her index finger to point, to indicate INTEREST in something?*
8. Can your child play properly with small toys (e.g. cars or blocks) without just mouthing, fiddling, or dropping them?
9. Does your child ever bring objects over to you (parent) to SHOW you something?

Section B: GP (Gen. Practitioner) or other health personnel's observation:

i. During the appointment, has the child made eye contact with you?
ii. Get the child's attention, then point across the room at an interesting object and say, "Oh look! There's a (name of toy)!" Watch the child's face. Does the child look across to see what you are pointing at?*
iii. Get the child's attention, then give the child a miniature toy cup and teapot and say, "Can you make a cup of tea?" Does the child pretend to pour out tea, drink it, etc.?*
iv. Say to the child, "Where's the light?" or "Show me the light." Does the child POINT with his/her index finger at the light?*
v. Can the child build a tower of blocks? (If so, how many?)

Another tool in Hamilton's book shows that impairments in social interaction and communication, and repetitive patterns of behavior are the hallmarks of autism in children. If you get online and look around you may find a million different lists of symptoms for this disorder and it can be really confusing. Hopefully these tools will help calm fears of some and drive others to get much needed help.

Ultimately I am learning that as a mom, I have the inside track on my own child. If my gut is telling me there is a problem, there probably is something to it. We all want to believe that doctors and therapists know more than we do, but in seeing a child for a few minutes every few months or even an hour a week, the view of these outsiders is extremely limited compared to what you and I see every day with our kids. Most of the time there is really nothing to be worried about. The problem is that issues will go undetected if we are not vigilant to seek out answers that may be hard to hear. The good news is that the sooner something is discovered the sooner the child can get the help he or she needs. If it turns out to be nothing, great! But we should not be satisfied until we know for sure.

what i've learned, vol. 2--breastfeeding

2008-09-27T20:53:00.003-06:00

Okay, so onto everyone's favorite topic! Breastfeeding is hard and doesn't come as naturally for everyone as you might think. After having a tough time with Lewis the first time around, I was relieved that things have been very smooth with Owen. Here are some suggestions:

--If your hospital will allow it, breastfeed immediately after the baby is born. Lewis was whisked away for bloodwork because he was at risk for Group B strep. It turned out he was sick, but Owen was equally at risk and the hospital staff still allowed me to hold him and nurse him right away. It got the ball rolling for us.

--Avoid bottles, pacifiers and nipple shields as long as possible to avoid the dreaded nipple confusion. Lewis was sent to the NICU right away and given pacifiers and bottles before I was ever able to nurse him. We had to use nipple shields to get him to latch on and it was always a fight to make him work for the milk that he knew he could have more easily (from a bottle). With Owen, we still used a nipple shield at first to help him latch on, but would remove it mid-feeding so that he would not become dependent on it. The Humana nurse I mentioned in the last post told me that nipple shields make it really hard for babies to get milk because they have to suck twice as hard. This can effect supply and make feedings take much longer.

With Owen, we stopped using them completely after a month or so and his feedings have gone from being 30-60 minutes to more like 20 minutes since then. We waited to give him any bottles of pumped milk until he was over 2 months old too. With just breastfeeding, he has gained much more weight than Lewis did initially and at 3 months is close to 15 lbs. The other benefit is that he is sleeping through the night (7-10 hrs).

We did introduce the pacifier after a week or so, and it has enhanced his ability to sleep well!

--Feed on demand. We let Owen decide when he is hungry and feed him whenever he needs it. He has been such a happy baby! After the first couple of weeks he basically adjusted to a 3 hour schedule, but occassionally has a day where he eats much more (every 2 hours). Lewis started out on a strict schedule at the NICU and it made life very hard on us when we got home. Every baby is different and may need to eat more or less often depending on size, growth spurts etc.

--If you have trouble, contact a lactation consultant or experienced friend for help. This time I still took advantage of LC's at the hospital and afterward to make sure we were on the right track. Most women should be able to breastfeed, but it may require the guidance of professionals!

--It's like riding a bike. If you've had a baby before and nursed successfully, it should go even better the 2nd time around. I have been much more confident with Owen because it's not something totally foreign like that first experience. It's different to go from nursing a 16 month old to a newborn for a lot of reasons. But it all comes back to you!

what i've learned, vol. 1--swaddling

2008-09-14T22:29:00.004-06:00

Okay, so it has been a long time since my last post. I'm starting to wake up now that our second baby is sleeping through the night. We've been learning a lot as parents of two kids, and so I'm hoping to chronicle some of that stuff on the blog.

The first thing is swaddling. With our first baby, Justin (my husband), swaddled in rare form at key moments to calm Lewis down. But this time, I was up in the middle of the night often trying to get Owen back to sleep and having trouble. Owen has been a relatively easy baby with only a few really fussy instances. Still, in the middle of the night when you're exhausted and in a daze, you just want that baby to get back to sleep ASAP.

We were enrolled in a program through our insurance company that got a nurse involved in our prenatal care. Basically she called about once a month to check on my progress and answer questions. It was actually really nice because she could answer questions I was embarrassed to ask anyone else as a second time mom. This nurse sent me the DVD called THE HAPPIEST BABY ON THE BLOCK, by Dr. Harvey Karp, which turned out to be very helpful in regards to the whole sleep issue. Dr. Karp recommends the swaddling thing as part of his "4th trimester" theory. You want to recreate the womblike atmosphere, and let's face it--babies are pretty snuggly trapped at the end of pregnancy.

We found that the swaddling trick really worked for Owen. That coupled with background noise provided by a fan, which Karp also recommends. Owen has been sleeping through the night for a couple of weeks now. He's going 8-10 hours or more now at 12 weeks, and it is fantastic! We still swaddle Owen at night with one arm out. He falls right to sleep once he's in position. It's wonderful. Lewis started sleeping through the night at about 13 weeks, and Owen beat him by about 3 weeks using Dr. Karp's recommendations. Just something to think about for those of you with newborns or pregnant!

More to come......

free caffeine

2008-08-02T13:00:00.004-06:00

Psalm 127:2-- 2-- In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat— for he grants sleep to those he loves.

For some reason I have found Mountain Dew left in shopping carts twice recently. The first time was at Target a couple of weeks ago. I found a 12-pack of the caffeinated beverage on my way in. Seeing that it had obviously been paid for, and being extremely tired from getting up to feed Owen every night, I claimed it for my own. Then this week after doing my regular grocery shopping at Kroger, I returned my cart and found a 20 oz. bottle of Mountain Dew Voltage in another basket.

After the first incident, I joked with a friend that God knows how tired I am and decided to bless me with some caffeine. After the 2nd, I am really believing it!

Now bear in mind that I am not a caffein-e-holic. My husband and I own a coffee shop, but I am still careful about how much I consume. Many pregnant and nursing women take a complete hiatus from caffeine. I am not such a person! I cannot drink hot coffee in early pregnancy. It absolutely turns my stomach. The occasional iced latte, I can handle for some reason. But by the halfway point, I have been able to get back into my morning routine and have a cup of coffee in the morning. On occasion I might have some sort of cola-type beverage or iced tea in the afternoon (Sonic's are the best, esp. during happy hour!). But by dinner I am decaf all the way.

I had forgotten how exhausting newborns can be, but luckily the caffeine doesn't seem to stop him from napping during the day. It's getting Owen to sleep initially and getting him back to sleep after the 6 a.m. mark that has been so difficult. Don't get me wrong......I love watching old episodes of the X Files or Wings in the middle of the night, but I love sleep more!

There's this verse in the Psalms about the Lord granting sleep to those he loves. I find myself begging for God to be true to that verse daily. Somehow I make it through each day, but there are moments when it seems impossible. Surely more sleep is just over the horizon.....and cooler weather. Until then, I've got my Mountain Dew to give me a boost. :)

birth story

2008-07-19T19:37:00.004-06:00

It's been a month since my last post, and oddly, our sweet baby Owen is now 4 weeks old! My doctor kept saying that if I delivered at 38 weeks with the first one, that likely the second would come at a similar time. He was right! This labor was much better than the first....and more normal, just like I had prayed for.

I woke up on Saturday morning around 8:30 a.m. which was generally when Lewis wakes up. I had breakfast and everything seemed normal. Around 9, I passed some blood during a routine potty break. It occurred to me that this could be the beginning of labor, OR it could be the sign of something bad like my placenta pulling away from the uterine wall or something awful like that.

At 9:15 or so, I started noticing contractions. These were slightly more uncomfortable than the Braxton Hicks contractions I'd been having for months. After having several, I jumped in the bathtub and then called my doctor to get his opinion. Since my first labor was all back pain, I had no idea how long this "early" labor might last. But knowing my history with Group B strep, Dr. Gass sent me on to the hospital to have the nurses take a look. My friend, Mandy, came to sit with Lewis so that Justin and I could head out. We got to the hospital at 11 a.m.

My doctor had called and warned the nurses we were coming, so they quickly took care of us and after determining I was in "early" labor, they called the pharmacy to get my antibiotics ordered. The drugs did not arrive until 12:30 p.m., and so I was prepared to labor all afternoon to get six hours of them in my system. Thankfully we didn't have to wait that long. After several innings of Reds baseball, my contractions were getting harder, and I was getting very dilated. When I arrived I was around 5 cm, and remembering to breathe deeply helped me to keep things moving along!

I was nervous about being in a different hospital to deliver this baby, but the nurse I had was sooo helpful and let me get up and move around even with my IV.

With my first labor, I had a half dose of IV narcotics to get me through the whole experience of giving birth. But when the contractions hit, they were just as painful. So this time I figured that I could make it without anything, and I did, but at their peak I could tell a difference between the contractions with drugs and the ones without! Mainly, there wasn't much of a break between them because the pain lingered for me. With the Nubain I could almost sleep in between contractions. Thankfully, once it got really bad I had less than an hour to endure the bad stuff. On the plus side, I was VERY MOTIVATED to push that baby out. Without pain meds I could feel everything as the baby made his way to freedom. The drugs definitely take the edge off, but there are positives and negatives either way.

Just before 3 p.m. I was feeling pressure to push, and so I never got the next round of antibiotics (they had told me I would get more at 4:30 p.m.). In the end I was so focused on pushing that they had to tell me to open my eyes when the baby came out. My doctor went on and on about how pink and healthy Owen looked.

I felt great after delivery, and despite the fact that Owen was at risk for contracting GBS, they let me nurse right away and hold him for the first hour. He was pretty slimy! I didn't get to do that with Lewis, so it felt so nice to be able to bond immediately after all that hard work. The nurses took him to run their tests, and he turned out to be perfectly healthy with no apparent problems. That was a huge relief!

Giving birth is so empowering. You feel like you could conquer the world. I immediately felt the relief of not being pregnant anymore. It had become exhausting for me, and I can't imagine going a full 40 weeks after having both of mine early.

Since then, we have been adjusting to life with two kids. The baby stuff has been easier overall. Breastfeeding has been much better with Owen. I definitely feel much more confident in my ability in that area. The first time around you just feel so clueless, but Owen and I have had a smooth transition there (though the first few days were still tough). The hard part is just being able to entertain another child while nursing. So far so good.

Owen sleeps as well as Lewis, but we are more tired because we have to get up in the morning and we can't sleep when the baby does unless it is during Lewis' naptime. That part has been much harder. But otherwise we are back into the swing of life already whereas with Lewis I felt knocked out for a couple of months almost.

Hopefully I'll get caught up on sleep soon so and inspired to share more about life with two kids.

Here's picture. He was born 6/21/08 at 3:41 p.m. He was 7 lbs. 12 oz. and 20 1/2 inches long.

impending birth

2008-06-18T20:04:00.002-06:00

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to this life?"--Matthew 6:25-27

It's been over a month since I posted anything, and probably longer than that with anything of any depth. I'm close to being 38 weeks pregnant and have been having all kinds of stressful thoughts creeping in all the time. Lewis came at 38 weeks so it seems like it could be any time now, but I even doubt my ability to know the signs of labor.

Adding to my stress lately has been another flea infestation. We had one last year that was definitely worse. Still, the idea of bringing a newborn home to get bitten by fleas is not a happy one! We got rid of our cat, who was actually helping the situation with her Frontline treatment, but I do feel better that there is not cat fur everywhere. All in all, it feels like we are winning the war now........but it all started May 1st, so it's been a struggle that has robbed me of sleep and given me that itchy feeling all over that is quite frustrating.

Another area of fear involves caring for two kids who can't speak! Lewis is not making much progress in communication. He has learned one new sign in the last 3 months or so. The state has denied our request for additional speech therapy (and oddly, recommended we lessen the amount to twice a month instead of once a week......I guess because progress is not being made?). Financially things are always tight for us too, but knowing another child is coming into our lives has added to the stress of that also, causing more than a few arguments with my dear husband.

It seems like lately as I look at things it has been easier to be frustrated or spin my wheels trying to do what I can to make things better instead of really seeking the Lord and his plan in all this. It's dawned on me that the fleas are probably more a wake-up call meant to push me over the edge in my dependence on the Lord. I feel like I've been carrying this huge burden and God is whispering, "Hello!!! I'm right here, hand all that over and let me carry it."

Sadly, much of my spiritual enrichment lately has come from Streams in the Desert, the little devotional book put together by L.B. Cowman. Not that it is bad....I just long for time and energy to dig deeper. This week, many of the readings have been about enduring through trials and seeing God's blessings through them.

"You are suffering through these tests, but know that God sees sweet flowers of faith springing up in your life beneath these very trials. You try to escape the pain, yet God sees tender compassion for other sufferers finding birth in your soul. Your heart winces at the pain of heavy grief, but God sees the sorrow deepening and enriching your life.

No, my friend, it is not raining afflictions on you. It is raining tenderness, love, compassion, patience, and a thousand other flowers and fruits of the blessed Holy Spirit. And they are bringing to your life spiritual enrichment that all the prosperity and ease of this world could never produce in your innermost being."

I know everyone is dealing with something out there! I'm really trying to rest and trust God's holy character.......that his love for me is constant and unchanging, and he is accomplishing his purposes in my life through all this.

Top Names for 2007

2008-05-11T10:38:00.001-06:00

According to the Social Security Administration, here are the top names from last year.

**Top 10 Names for 2007**
Rank	Male name	Female name
1	Jacob	Emily
2	Michael	Isabella
3	Ethan	Emma
4	Joshua	Ava
5	Daniel	Madison
6	Christopher	Sophia
7	Anthony	Olivia
8	William	Abigail
9	Matthew	Hannah
10	Andrew	Elizabeth
Note: Rank 1 is the most popular, rank 2 is the next most popular, and so forth.

single parenting--sort of

2008-05-07T22:11:00.002-06:00

My husband, Justin, is traveling with his band this week and I have had a taste of single parenting. Granted, this is nothing compared to those who have to work and support their families while being the sole parental influence. I cannot begin to imagine how tough that would be. Still, I've been amazed at how well things are going.

Lately, as I become more and more pregnant (or just larger), I've been so tired and when the afternoon hits it feels like I might fall apart. But usually around that time, Justin comes home and helps relieve the weight of parenting. With Justin out of the picture, we have planned a lot of activities to keep us around other people which has been a huge help. It feels like somehow Lewis senses that things are more laid back right now. I'm not sure whether it is just God answering my prayers that he will be a cooperative child, or possibly Lewis is actually maturing. But he has been a true delight this week. I have been expecting him to fight me at mealtimes and other transitional times when he tends to get upset, but really he has been more agreeable than ever.

Maybe I'm finally getting the hang of parenting.......or just knowing that there's no one else to pick up the slack gives me a different tone that Lewis does not want to cross. Either way, I hope some of this behavior sticks around.

God's promise to abraham & sarah

2008-04-11T13:38:00.003-06:00

"Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah as he had said, and the Lord did for Sarah what he had promised. Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the very time God had promised him." --Genesis 21:1-2

Lewis got a children's Bible for Easter and we have been reading it every morning. Not that he is very interested or can understand the stories just yet (it's really for kids 4 years +), but I figure it's a good habit to get into. Oddly enough, it has been great for me because as we read, I think about the stories and go back to the actual scripture to get the whole picture.

The story of Abraham and Sarah has had me thinking a great deal about God's faithfulness, and about our desire to help God out when we think he needs it. If you go back to Genesis 15 and 16, God makes his promise that Abraham's offspring will be numerous and eventually bring about the Savior who turns out to be Jesus.

In Sarah's mind this was impossible. Her alternative was to give her maidservant to Abraham and "build a family through her." Abraham agrees and immediately there is hostility between the two women as a result. This whole thing is so similar to what we do all the time. We know God loves us and will take care of us, but often we don't see how he is going to make our lives come together and work. Women are great at coming up with a good plan to "solve" things. Unfortunately these plans often make things worse.

The beauty in this story is that God remains faithful to Sarah, and carries out his plan as promised--despite her lack of faith. Sarah is the one to become pregnant and give birth to Isaac in her very old age. God blesses Ishmael as well, but it is a different type of blessing. Sarah's line is the one that leads to Christ.

The women's Bible study I attend is studying Galatians. We have been discussing at length our freedom in Christ and how we tend to put ourselves back under the law instead of trusting in God's grace alone for our salvation and daily living. Though it is a gift, we try to earn our salvation and God's blessing by doing all kinds of 'good' works.

Galatians 4 sums up Sarah's story this way, "Tell me, you who want to be under the law, are you not aware of what the law says? For it is written that Abraham had two sons, one by the slave woman and the other by the free woman. His son by the slave woman was born in the ordinary way; but his son by the free woman was born as the result of a promise...........Now you, brothers, like Isaac, are children of promise. At that time the son born in the ordinary way persecuted the son born by the power of the Spirit. It is the same now. But what does the Scripture say? 'Get rid of the slave woman and her son, for the slave woman's son will never share in the inheritance with the free woman's son.' Therefore, brothers, we are not children of the slave woman, but of the free woman."

It is wonderful to live in that freedom. I pray for my faith to be strengthened by abiding in Christ so that I can trust God to fulfill his will for me without worrying about things or trying to fix them on my own. God doesn't need my help after all! God does ask for me to act in obedience and to do good, but my faithfulness thankfully does not determine his next move. What a joy to know and rest in this truth!

my cool doctor and group b strep

2008-03-31T14:46:00.002-06:00

The time has gotten away from me. My last doctor's appointment was 2 weeks ago, and I meant to post right after, but somehow it hasn't happened. It was a great appointment and I'm hoping this post can be somewhat informative because I've been doing a lot of research that hopefully will help my next delivery go better, and maybe help out others out there who carry the Group B Strep.

For those of you who need a refresher......my last labor was anything but normal, mostly consisting of back pain. And while I knew that I was a GBS carrier, I had always heard that by getting antibiotics during delivery that everything would be fine. Well, Lewis caught it coming through the birth canal which led to his own blood infection and a 10-day stay in the NICU. It mainly caused his heart rate to fluctuate randomly, and his breathing to be hard and difficult. It was a rough start to his life, and our parenthood, which we do not want to re-live.

With this in mind, I've been doing research about GBS and had a great chat with my doctor (Joseph Gass) at my last appointment. First of all, I have to give a shout out to Nicole Martin for recommending him. He has been a refreshing change from my last OB, who I was honestly afraid to talk to about a number of things. Dr. Gass treats me like a person, and has made it clear that how I choose to deliver is fine with him. If I want pain meds, great. If not, (which is my goal) fine too.

He had said that because I had passed GBS on to Lewis that we would go into this next delivery assuming that I am still a carrier and take every precaution to keep the new baby safe. The first time around, my OB nurse said that they like to get two rounds of antibiotics through before delivery. Because I was only at the hospital about 6 hours before Lewis arrived (and they didn't check me for quite a while because they were delivering other babies and didn't think I was in labor), I did not get that much before delivery. However, the studies I looked at show that it's not so much the amount of antibiotics the mother receives, but instead the time over which she receives it that makes a difference. Four hours of receiving antibiotics seemed to be a minimum amount of time that kept moms from passing on GBS.

In talking to my doctor, he said he really recommends six hours of antibiotics to insure safety for the baby. Because my last labor was so weird, we agreed that it would be okay for me to play it safe and come on in when I suspect I'm in labor and get checked out to make sure I'm not rushed like the last time around. Since I only live 5 minutes from the hospital, it will not be a huge deal if I get sent home.

The other random thing I found in my research was a connection between developmental delays and babies who have contracted GBS. Apparently there is a high statistic of those babies who have been infected to have delays, which may explain some of Lewis' issues. My doctor seemed to think I might be right about that too. He shared an example of a similar situation with me that would support my hypothesis.

All of this to say...........it is sooooooooooooo wonderful to have a doctor who listens and cares and shows his support of me and this baby I'm carrying. It gives me much hope that things will go better this time around. If you are pregnant and test positive for Group B Strep, keep these things in mind. Doctors and nurses are wonderful, but they are preoccupied with a million things, and you are the one who needs to ask questions and push for IV's to get started in case they are dragging their feet. Don't learn the hard way!!

The other thing is to find a doctor or midwife who cares. If you can't talk freely about the concerns you have it might mean another doctor would be a better choice. It's so much easier the second time around because you know more what you want. I really feel like God led me here and it's a good place to be. :)

nesting

2008-03-10T18:13:00.002-06:00

Well......it happened this week, or maybe last. I dove into nesting mode. I've been digging through boxes of old stuff, taking things to the Goodwill and throwing tons of junk away. Two things are my big hang ups: photos and letters.

For some reason, I have a collection of photos that are probably copies of pictures in albums, but they're all in boxes here or there. When I start looking through them I get all sentimental and decide I can't part with them quite yet. But when I stop to think about it, it would not be devastating if a fire came and swept it all away......and would probably make the process easier! But it remains a struggle.

The letters have been funny and encouraging to read. Since email did not become prevalent until my junior year of college, I have so many letters from various friends, my sisters, and a few from my mom (those I'm keeping!), but most are getting tossed.

Jumping into nostalgia mode is so weird. I was going through all this stuff today during Lewis' nap. When he woke up, Justin got him and brought him into our office (future home of baby #2) and suddenly all those old relationships seemed trivial. Don't get me wrong.....I learned a lot from so many of these friends, and am happy to still be in touch with many of them. But seeing Lewis and his little life, as frustrating as he can be at times, reminded me that he's worth so much more than all those other friendships combined. What a blessing to be a mom and to have the (mostly!) innocent love of a toddler.

Leave your nesting tips, please!

connecting with other moms

2008-03-04T15:07:00.003-06:00

The other day I received an email from Teresa Bell Kindred, a local writer, author and speaker. She came across this blog while preparing for an upcoming segment on WBKO's Midday Live broadcast called "Mom Moments." Teresa appears every other Wednesday on Midday Live, and will be on tomorrow (March 5th) to give ideas and advice about connecting with other moms around you.

This blog is a tool that allows us to connect with other moms anywhere they are from the comfort of our own homes. But in conjunction with Teresa's segment, I would love to hear your feedback on this topic. How have you been able to connect with other moms in your area for support, playgroups or just conversation? Has it been easy or difficult? Is face to face contact important to you? Why?

Face to face contact with other moms is very important to me, personally. Just after Lewis was born, a friend from church invited me to join a group of moms for prayer and support. All of us had given birth within a six month period, so we were dealing with many of the same issues. This group has continued to meet for more than 18 months now, and has been a huge source of strength and encouragement for me. There are other moms I see occasionally for play dates too, and I make it a priority to get out and expose Lewis to other kids of varying ages. I have learned so much from being around other moms and seeing how they interact with, discipline and teach their children.

Anyone in the Bowling Green area interested in joining a playgroup, please leave a comment or email me directly at shelleygwen@gmail.com with your general location, number of children and their ages, and available meeting times. If there is enough interest, we will do our best to put some groups together.

If an online video of Teresa's segment becomes available, we will post that here as well. Thanks for your feedback, as always!

WKU Assessment Clinic

2008-02-22T14:04:00.003-06:00

To those of you in Bowling Green, or close by--WKU is offering an Assessment Clinic to assess kids from birth to age 4 on April 5th and April 12th. It's free and gives students in the Early Childhood Education dept. a chance to practice what they've learned. The assessment provides information regarding progress in adaptive, communication, motor, personal-social, and cognitive skill areas. They will also give suggestions for individualized activities that might help your child personally.

If you've ever wondered how your child is doing developmentally, this would be a great chance to get some info and advice for free. Anyone interested should email Penny Adams at penny.adams@wku.edu or Susan Miller at susan.miller@wku.edu .

friendship

2008-02-12T14:23:00.000-06:00

My local group of moms that I hang out with had an interesting discussion about friendships the other day (a subtopic of a marriage discussion). It seems like as you add children to your home that marriage can become more challenging and certainly a lot more work. We're all tired and trying to communicate deeply takes effort.

This seems to trickle over into our friendships with women too. We all know we need each other.....we need fellowship and the wise counsel of others going through similar things. Still, it is hard sometimes to lower our personal fences and share our problems or other deep things in our lives.

I've been reading John & Stasi Eldgredge's book "Captivating" which often puts me a very melancholy mood as I consider what it means to be a woman. If you're like me you try to stuff your 'needs' into the closet and pretend to be strong all the time so that your husband or family does not feel overwhelmed by you. But the reality is that we want our husbands to pursue us and to be interested in us, even when our lives consist mostly of diapers and Elmo's World.

In the book, they also discuss female relationships and how women's fear of rejection spills over into regular friendships and keeps us from bonding with one another. It seemed like it was easier before I got married somehow. And yet I still need other women as much as I did before.....maybe even more. Anyway, this is a deeper topic, but wanted to see if any of you out there feel lonely or have any thoughts on developing better friendships. You can post here or on Facebook.

Thanks!!

dry skin?

2008-02-02T21:05:00.000-06:00

This is a new topic added on the facebook page. Maybe you all can help! Since it got so cold, Lewis' skin has become almost like an elephant's--very dry and tough! At first I thought he had a terrible rash, and maybe it is eczema, but wondered if anybody else was dealing with that this winter? We keep piling on the lotion and it helps, but he is still so dry. Poor boy.

a meandering of thoughts

2008-01-19T22:27:00.000-06:00

My pregnancy is plugging along--16 weeks. The little person inside is growing bigger and my clothes are getting tighter! Mostly out of a desire for comfort I have already turned in most of my normal clothes for the more forgiving early-pregnancy maternity pants that I have on hand. Despite the fact that I have to keep pulling them up all the time (which is quite annoying!) it is much better than sitting around with my pants unbuttoned all the time. It seems like when I wake up things are somewhat normal, except for the morning sickness which still lingers, but by the end of the day my belly seems huge. Of course, I don't look pregnant at all, just chunkier. The joys of pregnancy!

It feels so much different this time around. Last time I was thinking about the growing baby all the time. Now I find myself still thinking mostly about that first baby, Lewis. As my belly really grows it will be harder to avoid thinking about this second child. But for now, Lewis has my undivided attention. I hate to confess that a lot of this thinking would fall into the category of worry. He is making strides in a lot of areas, and we are thrilled with that. But it feels like there is a brick wall that we can't seem to knock down and it is standing in the way of some breakthroughs for him.

We are picking a new speech therapist on Monday, and I have been praying all week for wisdom in making this decision. We are longing to find the right person who can really help us in working with Lewis. God knows exactly what we need and who would be good with him, but it is so hard to trust him sometimes. It's harder to trust myself though, which always drives me back to trusting God, after much worry, of course!

If you think about us, please pray for us on Monday. Specifically we are longing for someone who is willing to try a variety of methods with Lewis to see what works with him. We are praying for someone who can help teach Lewis simple communication like nodding, shaking his head and pointing. It feels like our lives would be completely changed if Lewis could at least do those things. Beyond that we want him to explore making sounds and/or signing.....but it will take a special person to get through to him, or possibly the right technique which we have not found yet.

I know every family has issues, and ours are certainly not greater than anyone else's. Still, we'd appreciate your prayers the next few days. Please feel free to post your prayer requests too, either here or at the Facebook page.

Update: Our meeting for today (monday) was cancelled by our coordinator due to illness. We were disappointed and have not rescheduled yet, but we'll keep you posted.

transitioning to a crib?

2008-01-12T00:11:00.000-06:00

I started a "discussion" on the Facebook group the other day, but wanted to post it here for those of you who may not be members (yet!). Just wanted to get some feedback from those of you who have transitioned from a crib to a big boy/girl bed. What age did you try this at? Did you feel it went well? Did you use bedrails or anything like that to keep your child from falling out of the bed?

Our 2nd child is coming right when Lewis will turn two years-old. We're leaning toward getting another crib for the new baby, but could use your advice!

So far we've had one response from Amy Udy in Hong Kong:

I have 3 kids and the first two started sleeping on beds when they were two. Both did it very well and successfully. We put an extra mattress on the floor just in case they fell.
However, I am a bit "lazy" to transit the third child to bed from cot even he is two now. Mainly it is because the house we are living at has door handles which are lower enough for the kid to open the door by himself. So, when I put him to his room to sleep, he gets off the bed and opens the door to get out. It takes me time and energy to put him back to bed again and again every night / during the afternoon nap.

This didn't happen to the older two kids cos' they couldn't touch the door handles in our previous house. So, they got out of the bed but couldn't leave their rooms,therefore, eventually they went back to beds to sleep.

BTW, Congratulations on your pregnancy. Hope you have a safe and smooth delivery.

Therefore, my youngest one is still in cot...sigh. Howeve, I think I should start putting him to bed though...

Hm...should pray for that.

Any other comments/advice appreciated!!

new format?

2008-01-05T13:22:00.000-06:00

Well......it's been a while. I could use my pregnancy as an excuse for not blogging, or the holidays for that matter. But despite the fatigue that captured much of my first trimester, there were certainly times that I wanted to share something or vent my thoughts, but there just hasn't been a lot of inspiration as of late.

But it's a new year and I'm getting into my second trimester which means my energy level should be bursting forth anytime now. To get things moving, I've toyed with the idea of creating a group on Facebook. Many of you are on Facebook already, and it would allow for any group member to start a discussion on whatever topic is on your mind at any time.

If you are my 'friend' on Facebook you should have received an invitation to join this group already. If you don't have an account yet, but I have your email address, you may have received an invitation as well. If you would like to join and didn't receive an invitation, just post a comment with your email address or email me directly at shelleygwen@gmail.com.

We are dealing with all kinds of parental issues at our house and I personally need all the help I can get. I hope that together we can be an encouragement to one another, building each other up and sharpening one another to be better moms to the glory of God. It is something that often feels overlooked or mundane, and yet we are shaping lives of people who will grow up to lead and have families of their own.

We have discussed a lot of good topics through this blog already, but as kids grow the issues grow and change, and so if your child is not the same age as my child, hopefully the new format will provide a greater chance to share with other moms going through the same things you are now, or maybe who have been through something similar before.

If you're still checking this blog, thanks for hanging in there. You all have been a great encouragement to me, and I hope that you take something away from here occasionally to make your day a little brighter too.

blog slacker

2007-11-30T21:01:00.000-06:00

Wow, I have been such a huge slacker when it comes to blogging. If you are out there and still reading, please forgive me! Thanksgiving sort of took over and I've been out of touch with reality ever since (struggling to get back into the routine of normal life, at least!).

One tip I would like to pass on is regarding diaper rash. Hopefully we'll have some more deep posts soon, but for now, this was really helpful and might help you sometime! Lewis came down with a terrible diaper rash just after Thanksgiving. Unlike every other time, Boudreaux's Butt Paste didn't clear this one up! I was pretty concerned, and talked to the ladies in the church nursery about it on Sunday as I changed another stinky diaper.

One of them mentioned that when her twins, now 3, had bad diaper rashes, she used something called Triple Paste. She said it is sold without a prescription, but it's typically kept behind the counter because it's pricier and is prone to get stolen. Sure enough, the Kroger pharmacy had some and it got rid of this awful rash right away. I was pretty thankful for this tip, and may never have known without some advice from someone who's been there.

back home

2007-11-16T13:34:00.000-06:00

We've been back from our vacation for a week now! We had a good time. Travel-wise everything went fabulously. Every flight was early and we were able to catch an earlier return flight for the last leg which got us back 3 hours ahead of schedule. Since we didn't check any bags, we didn't have to worry about lost luggage. Everything went really well. We were so busy and tired from hiking, walking etc., that I didn't worry about Lewis. We talked frequently to the grandparents, but everything seemed to be going well, so those calls just set us at ease more than anything.

We also took the opportunity to completely wean Lewis from nursing. He is over 16 months-old now, and was only nursing at night anyway, so it has been a relatively smooth transition. Five days away made it much easier since I was unable to continue in our routine. It has taken us a few days to get into the swing of a new bedtime ritual. Lewis used to nurse with a low-lit lamp and got used to watching his clock tick on a nearby shelf (odd, but he likes it!), so I have switched to rocking him and singing a few songs instead so that he still has a good view of the clock. He still lays down awake and goes right to sleep. He has slept great since we got back home, which has been a great blessing!! It seems that sleeping is one of his best talents, and I can't complain about that. :)

All in all, we survived our first baby-absence. It was not as bad as I had expected, and the best part was not cooking, cleaning or changing diapers for several days. We were certainly ready to be reunited with our boy. He's become the sweetest part of our lives.

It seems like time really flies in the fall or is it just me? Next week is Thanksgiving. It's so hard to believe that we're into the holidays already. Soon we will be making the big decision about Christmas decorating........or really, seeing what Lewis' decision about it will be. If we put up a tree and he wants to un-decorate it on a regular basis, we may have trouble. We also have a 6 month-old kitty who could try to climb the thing, so I'm trying to keep my expectations low! If you have any good stories to share about your experience with kids and holiday decorating, it would be fun to hear your feedback.

getting away

2007-11-01T19:54:00.000-06:00

This has been a good week in our home. Lewis is sleeping great again, despite a tooth coming through that is causing him to love his paci. The solution this time seems to have been covering the little lights on his humidifier and baby monitor. Maybe it was a coincidence, but once the extra light was gone he's had no trouble sleeping 11-12 solid hours once again, and for that we are truly grateful.

Along with this development, I have been able to get back into my routine of waking up before Lewis and spending some time in my Bible and prayer before things go crazy. My favorite part about this set-up is that when I wake up, there is a fresh pot of coffee waiting for me! Thanks to our lovely Krups programmable coffee maker, I can stumble around in the morning with easy access to the beverage that starts my day off right. It's funny how the little things mean so much sometimes!

In other news, we are preparing to leave Lewis for a few days and take a much needed vacation. Still, I am anxious about leaving him even though his grandparents are crazy about him and will take great care of him. If anyone has any advice or stories to share on getting through the separation anxiety, I'm all ears (or eyes technically if you post a comment!). I feel like the 23rd Psalm is coming true in my life as the Lord is making me lie down in green pastures and leading me beside still waters by taking this vacation. We wouldn't be going if our frequent flier miles were not expiring at the end of the year. So in a way it feels forced, but I know God, as my loving heavenly father, has a good plan that includes more blessing than I tend to expect. Justin really needs the break too, so it is coming at a great time and the trip will conclude on our fourth wedding anniversary. God is good. :)

orphan mindset

2007-10-26T16:06:00.000-06:00

"This is what the Lord says, 'Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord. He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives. But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.'

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" --Jeremiah 17:1-9.

After my ranting of last week, I have been on a quest for peace internally. Granted we all will have bad days, but my response to things has not been good, and my general state lately has been one of anxiousness and fear. I've been afraid that God has turned his back on me for some reason, which biblically cannot be the case. But when we start to go down that road of doubt, our hearts can be very deceptive and we can begin to believe things that are far from the truth!

Thankfully we have been attending a small local church where the truth is taught clearly and without shame. We have been going through Romans and the pastor has made it clear that salvation is the beginning of a lifetime of struggle with our flesh. Before becoming believers, we as humans are content to sin and to try to satisfy the flesh anyway we can. But afterward, when the Spirit comes to dwell within us, we begin to struggle to overcome sin and a battle ensues that continues until death. It is wonderful that salvation is not just from the penalty of sin, but also to free us from the power of sin in our lives. And it is powerful. If we are not winning the battle, sin is probably winning instead. (I can't do justice to the wonderful quotes the pastor gives each week!).

All of this to say that through ingesting this truth on Sundays and in reading a book called "From Free to Freedom" by Rose Marie Miller, I have been finding some victory over this anxiety that had gripped me and rediscovering my position as a daughter of God. Miller talks about how often Christians live like abandoned orphans without a father, trusting in themselves and living in fear of what will come. I've seen a lot of myself in these pages! This is the book that the Bible study group I attended last week will be studying, so my hope is that Lewis and I will be able to go and engage in discussion on this topic.

Having a child brings in a new area with which to trust God, and it is much harder than I expected. But relying on myself and my own plan is far shakier, so it will be something that I will have to continually lay at his feet. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers for us. We are excited about what God is doing in all of us.

mommy frustration

2007-10-18T10:54:00.000-06:00

It's not quite noon, and I'm already worn out from motherhood! It's just been one of those days that is following one of the those nights. Lewis was basically up from 12:30 a.m. to 2:30 a.m. off and on. We rocked, nursed, put him in our bed......but nothing worked. Eventually Justin got up to give Lewis baby Motrin and to 'do his thing' which I'm happy to say eventually did the job. Lewis was up again at 6 a.m., nursed again, and thankfully slept until almost nine. Needless to say, weaning is not going well with these kind of nights happening fairly often lately. It reminds me of the newborn days.

This morning was one I had been looking forward to for a couple of weeks. Some ladies who are involved with a local church plant are starting a Bible study and today was the first real meeting.

After the night we had, I was running around crazy trying to get myself and Lewis ready (and fed) with very little time. Throw in a leak in our bathroom ceiling, and it was no easy task getting everything together. Luckily there are other moms of babies in the group, so I was not the latest one! Things were going well and we were getting aquainted. Lewis, with his mobility gaps, still falls down often, especially in unfamiliar surroundings. He had already fallen a couple of times after we arrived, but just after our formal introductions, Lewis took yet another fall, and cried off and on the rest of the time we were there. So much so, that I had to take him outside. Once there, the problem became that he didn't want to go back in.

It was frustrating because he seemed perfectly fine, aside from a couple of "owies," but absolutely refused to play inside and calm down. Since he can't communicate and tell me when something is wrong, it certainly makes it hard to know what to do. Of course, in my mind I'm thinking that these new potential friends are probably making mental notes that our family is out of control and certainly their interest in us as people is vanishing. I'm thinking that I'll never be able to be part of anything deeper because it is too hard to focus when Lewis could take a fall at any moment.

Eventually I drove away in tears, humiliated, and wondering if God really cares about any of this. In my heart, I know he does. But there are those days when it feels like if any more weight is added to the load that my world is going to shatter.

I know that I am not alone with these feelings. While it is very hard for me to get out and spend time with actual friends in person, I do take comfort in being connected online to many real moms who are doing their best to make it through each day. When our babies are grown, we will miss these days! But in the present, some hard times come and we need the encouragement of others to help us through. If you are out there having a bad day, take heart--You are not alone!!

And more importantly, our God sees you, and knows your pain, frustration and sees your tears. Here a couple of interesting scriptures about tears:

"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him." --Psalm 126:5-6.

"'Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.'"--Revelation 21:3-4.

silly song

2007-10-11T19:48:00.000-06:00

Tonight at dinner, Justin was trying to get Lewis to eat some "Lone Star Stew," which is mainly ham and black-eyed peas. It tastes better than it sounds! Anyway, we often will sing Lewis silly songs to encourage him to eat, and make up many of our own. Keeping with tradition, Justin started out singing "Jesus Loves the Little Children," but ended up with several original verses. I was fairly surprised a few minutes later to hear:

Jesus loves the little Lewis
Our little Lewis of the world
If he's happy, if he's sad
If he's drunk or if he's mad
Jesus loves the little Lewis, yes he does

While this is technically true, I'm really hoping that Lewis is not discovered drunk anytime soon! It really cracked me up, and Justin had to go back over in his mind what he had said because he didn't realize why I was laughing. Nothing like cheap, fun entertainment. The best part is--Lewis actually ate some of the stew! :)

stretching your cash

2007-10-03T20:02:00.000-06:00

In an attempt to keep topics separate, here is a comment left by someone hoping for feedback. For the full comment check the last post. Thanks!!

"I'm a fairly young mom by today's standards. I'll be 27 in December, and I'll have a 20 month little girl and a newborn baby boy by that time. Now I'm struggling to put together a budget that will somehow allow me to keep staying home with my kids, and still keep us sheltered, clothed and fed. And the repercussions of my potential failure to squeeze the life out of husband's salary mean that I might have to step out of my kids' lives for 10 hours a day and let someone else be the one who cares for them. I just feel so burdened lately with the weight of that. Being a stay at home mom is difficult, and I don't mean the at home with the kids part. But trusting God to provide when our needs are very real is frightening. I guess I've always trusted in my ability to make money, or in the amount of money I have socked away in savings. Both of those aren't very reassuring right now. I have been working from home, but the arrival of a newborn is going to really force me to reevaluate that situation.

So I guess one question to the other moms who read this is how do you deal with these issues? Particularly if you stay at home, on a practical level, how do you make your money stretch? I know I'm not the only one feeling the pinch of a lost salary...or maybe I am :) How do you deal with convincing your husbands that some luxuries have to be done away with? Do you feel that, despite not working, you're the one in charge of figuring out everything about how to keep your family afloat? Anyone else want to vent? :)"

what's on your mind?

2007-10-01T12:58:00.000-06:00

Forgive me for the long delay between posts. We have been dealing with some developmental issues with Lewis which has kept us pretty busy. You can see an update at our regular family blog if you're interested. I've actually been learning a lot through some solid sermons at church on Sundays, which has been fantastic. The other thing that has been helpful has been getting up before Lewis most mornings (sometimes he wakes up earlier than I would like!), and having some time in the Word before my day really gets going. It really does affect everything when I can take a breath and invite the Lord into my day before it gets rolling.

Going through this testing with Lewis has been rather draining emotionally. I'm thrilled to have enlisted help because we need it and I know we will all benefit from those who specialize in early childhood development. Still, it has been humbling to admit that we don't have all the answers. Our speech therapist told us last week not to get bogged down in the "why's." She said she often sees parents who are intelligent and doing all they can, but their kids developmentally are missing some things. At the same time, there are those parents out there who seem clueless, and seem to be doing a whole lot of things wrong, but their kids are hitting every milestone right on schedule. It's much better to focus on moving forward than trying to figure out why we are here today, when we may never know for sure.

So today we are hopeful that we are heading in the right direction. And we are thankful to be in a place of need where we are forced to trust God with the most precious part of our lives. And we are so thankful for the blessing of Lewis, the way he is. He has his issues, but we absolutely adore him and wouldn't change a minute of his little life. We constantly hope and strive to be all that he needs us to be as his parents. We will fail often! But we will never stop trying.

All of this is meant to invite you all into the conversation. My interests and concerns right now may be on the opposite end of the spectrum from yours. My desire for this blog is for it to be encouraging for moms out there on a range of subjects. If you've got something on your mind that you'd like to get feedback on, we'd love to know. I wish i was savvy enough to know how to create threads so that a wide array of topics could be discussed all the time. Still, if you have anything you'd like to hear about or just want to share about your current joys and/or struggles, post away.

tips on eating?

2007-09-16T22:18:00.000-06:00

If anybody out there has some advice on toddler eating, please post some comments! It seems the whole transitional time of teaching your child to eat on his/her own is a tough one. Some kids do finger foods well before a year, and then some (like my child) will only feed himself certain things. Most unfamiliar items hit the floor in a matter of seconds. But I know of kids who have struggled to eat meat or veggies, and the rare child who doesn't like fruit. How do you work some of these needed nutrients into their diets? As they become more aware of their environment it is certainly harder to trick them into eating the things they don't want to eat.

One last question--How do you transition them to using a spoon and fork without attracting every ant in the tri-state area (from the mess of course!)? Every child is different, but if your child is eating on his own, then you've accomplished something amazing! Your help will mean a lot to me and at least a few others.

Thanks!!

something more

2007-09-07T11:17:00.000-06:00

This article was posted on Cafe Mom, and I wanted to share it with you all, because if you are a mother you have worried at some point (or will in the future) about your child's progress, be it physically, socially etc. Lewis has missed several milestones so far, and in talking with other moms, it seems like we all have fears and struggles, and many will find that their child needs help in one area or another. Some will need a lot of help. It reminds me of a sweet note someone sent after Lewis was born that said, "You are God's perfect provision for this child." Some days it just doesn't feel that way. It feels like someone else might do a much better job. But I know deep down that God specifically gifted us with Lewis and vice-versa. He is what we need as much as we are what he needs. The same is true for you and your children. I hope you find this encouraging, and depending on your emotional state you may need a tissue!

Written by: Lori Borgman Columnist and Speaker

My friend is expecting her first child. People keep asking what she
wants. She smiles demurely, shakes her head and gives the answer
mothers have given throughout the ages of time. She says it doesn't
matter whether it's a boy or a girl. She just wants it to have ten
fingers and ten toes. Of course, that's what she says. That's what
mothers have always said. Mothers lie.

Truth be told, every mother wants a whole lot more. Every mother
wants a perfectly healthy baby with a round head, rosebud lips,
button nose, beautiful eyes and satin skin. Every mother wants a baby
so gorgeous that people will pity the Gerber baby for being flat-out
ugly. Every mother wants a baby that will roll over, sit up and take
those first steps right on schedule (according to the baby
development chart on page 57, column two). Every mother wants a baby
that can see, hear, run, jump and fire neurons by the billions. She
wants a kid that can smack the ball out of the park and do toe points
that are the envy of the entire ballet class. Call it greed if you
want, but we mothers want what we want.

Some mothers get babies with something more. Some mothers get babies
with conditions they can't pronounce, a spine that didn't fuse, a
missing chromosome or a palette that didn't close. Most of those
mothers can remember the time, the place, the shoes they were wearing
and the color of the walls in the small,suffocating room where the
doctor uttered the words that took their breath away. It felt like
recess in the fourth grade when you didn't see the kick ball coming
and it knocked the wind clean out of you.

Some mothers leave the hospital with a healthy bundle, then, months,
even years later, take him in for a routine visit, or schedule her
for a well check, and crash head first into a brick wall as they bear
the brunt of devastating news. It can't be possible! That doesn't run
in our family. Can this really be happening in our lifetime? I am a
woman who watches the Olympics for the sheer thrill of seeing finely
sculpted bodies. It's not a lust thing; it's a wondrous thing. The
athletes appear as specimens without flaw - rippling muscles with
nary an ounce of flab or fat, virtual powerhouses of strength with
lungs and limbs working in perfect harmony. Then the athlete walks
over to a tote bag, rustles through the contents and pulls out an
inhaler.

As I've told my own kids, be it on the way to physical therapy after
a third knee surgery, or on a trip home from an echo cardiogram,
there's no such thing as a perfect body. Everybody will bear
something at some time or another. Maybe the affliction will be
apparent to curious eyes, or maybe it will be unseen, quietly treated
with trips to the doctor, medication or surgery. The health problems
our children have experienced have been minimal and manageable, so I
watch with keen interest and great admiration the mothers of children
with serious disabilities, and wonder how they do it. Frankly,
sometimes you mothers scare me. How you lift that child in and out of
a wheelchair 20 times a day. How you monitor tests, track
medications, regulate diet and serve as the gatekeeper to a hundred
specialists yammering in your ear. I wonder how you endure the
clichés and the platitudes, well-intentioned souls explaining how God
is at work when you've occasionally questioned if God is on strike. I
even wonder how you endure schmaltzy pieces like this one — saluting
you, painting you as hero and saint, when you know you're ordinary.
You snap, you bark, you bite. You didn't volunteer for this. You
didn't jump up and down in the motherhood line yelling, "Choose me,
God! Choose me! I've got what it takes."

You're a woman who doesn't have time to step back and put things in
perspective, so, please, let me do it for you. From where I sit,
you're way ahead of the pack. You've developed the strength of a
draft horse while holding onto the delicacy of a daffodil. You have a
heart that melts like chocolate in a glove box in July, carefully
counter-balanced against the stubbornness of an Ozark mule. You can
be warm and tender one minute, and when circumstances require intense
and aggressive the next. You are the mother, advocate and protector
of a child with a disability. You're a neighbor, a friend, a stranger
I pass at the mall. You're the woman I sit next to at church, my
cousin and my sister-in-law. You're a woman who wanted ten fingers
and ten toes, and got something more.

You're a wonder.

'lil angels attic

2007-09-06T19:41:00.001-06:00

Just a friendly reminder to anyone near Bowling Green--Broadway UMC is hosting their semi-annual 'Lil Angels Attic consignment sale this weekend. Regular hours are Friday 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. and Saturday 9 a.m. to 12 noon. Saturday is the half price sale, where many items are reduced. Broadway is located at 1323 Melrose St., 42104.

We've purchased many items the last couple of years including toys, clothes for Lewis, maternity clothes, and even an umbrella stroller for $5. It's worth the trip, especially since a portion of the proceeds go to local children's charities.

faithful bravery!

2007-09-04T20:52:00.000-06:00

My sister is close friends with a family with four kids at her church in Evanston, IL. This story was sent from the father via email and it was so adorable, I had to post it. Keep in mind that Emmett is only 6 or 7 years-old. So mature!!

Today Bev needed Cullen's milk cup out of the van. The van was parked across the street from our house. She decided to send Emmett out to get it. Before he went though she told him to make sure that he looked both ways very carefully before he crossed the street. He said, he would. Then he said, "But if I die, mom, just remember; God meant it for good."

my home

2007-08-30T06:47:00.000-06:00

"Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."--Ephesians 5:33

While visiting my family in Louisville this weekend, I got to go to church with my sister. Her pastor, Dave Stone, gave a sermon called "My Home" and it was all about marriage, obedience and parenting.

The main passage was Ephesians 5:22-6:4. Often women squirm when they hear the word "submit," but in the context of this passage, it seems to fit well into a marriage where the husband loves his wife as Christ loved the church. Christ's love took him to the cross, so we are talking about a sacrificial, self-less love. It has been documented that a man's greatest need is to feel respected, while a woman's is to feel loved. It's interesting that in God's word, wives are commanded to respect their husbands, and men to love their wives. Stone made the point that God created marriage to be the fulfillment of our greatest needs.

Much of the sermon was memorable and convicting for me. The main thing that stuck with me though, is that often in marriage we go into it vowing to be faithful and give 100%, but when things change and it feels like the other person may be holding back, our typical response is to hold back too. This response leads to a cycle where no one gets their needs met. With severely high divorce rates in our country and all over the world, it is important to remember that while our marriage vows were made to our husbands, they were ultimately made to the Lord. Our spouse may not seem worthy of our respect at times, but God always is. Out of obedience to Him, we should do everything within our power (which is God's power anyway!) to keep our covenant with the Lord, and to allow him to meet our needs.

Stone also told a story of sitting in a coffee shop recently, and witnessing the hand-off between a divorced couple sharing custody of their son. It was so sad to imagine how this little boy felt being taken from one parent to the other on a regular basis. It must be difficult for children to comprehend how they fit into life with a broken family. You can't help but wonder if this marriage could have been saved if the husband or wife might have continued to give after the other seemed to stop. Young children certainly add to the stress on marriage, and we need to be patient with each other and continue to love unconditionally, extending grace to our spouse daily!

If you'd like to hear the whole sermon, it is available HERE for listening or viewing. There is a cheesy video skit at the beginning, just to warn you! It makes a decent backdrop for folding laundry or peeling potatoes.

uncertain wealth

2007-08-20T12:43:00.000-06:00

"Command those who are rich in this present world not be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life." -- 1 Timothy 6:17-19

I was reading today about stewardship. It was a chapter about praying for and teaching children how to be good stewards of their time and money. Lewis has a bank account with $50 in it, but so far he has not asked to withdraw any of it! But we know the day is coming, and so it is beneficial to think about it now. This passage in 1 Timothy is a great reminder that God deserves our hope and trust, and not wealth. Still, it was convicting because the way we live often does not reflect this trust in the Lord. It seems like we forget and begin living like wealth is our treasure and goal. But thank God that He is our true treasure. Nothing could be colder than money, and so elusive! God, on the other hand is loving, generous and kind. He deserves our attention and gratitude for all that he has given us.

This whole thing got me thinking about how we will teach Lewis about sharing and tithing, and good stewardship in general. Do you have any suggestions on how to do this well? It doesn't matter how old you are, or how many children you have. Your advice is welcome!

a twist on 1 Corinthians 13

2007-08-18T21:16:00.000-06:00

"What Remains"

by Cindy Sigler Dagnan

(taken from Focus on the Family magazine, August 2007)

If I spend my days building skyscrapers with blocks, assembling cool stuff out of LEGOs and creating relationships with other moms at Starbucks (or your local independent coffeehouse)*, but have not love, I am only the siren of the kids' ride-on fire truck, annoyingly stuck on hold.

If I have the gift of knowing which child attempted to flush the Hot Wheels down the toilet and which one pushed her sister, and if I have faith that somehow we'll survive life's emergencies, but have not love, I am nothing.

If I save all my box tops for school and give outgrown clothing to the local shelter, and if I surrender my body to tretch marks and under-eye circles (without the benefit of BOTOX, tanning salons or diet bars), but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient when someone isn't ready to use the big girl potty. It is kind when my husband has a hard day. It doesn't envy my neighbor who drives the new sport utility vehicle I can't afford.

It is not rude, snapping at my spouse or children when things don't go my way. It is not easily angered at perceived or real injustices.

It always protects the smallest, sweetest family confidences; always trusts God to provide my children's needs; always hopes in the freshness of tomorrow and the bright future of family; always perseveres amid hardship and doubt.

Where there are sleepless nights, they shall end. Where there are diapers, Little League and dioramas built from shoeboxes, they will cease. Where there is knowledge of baby care trends, discipline strategies and boy-girl problems, it will pass away.

Now these three remain: faith, lived out in my daily circumstances and instilled in my children; hope, of one day rejoicing with my family in heaven; and love, which covers over a multitude of less-than-perfect moments.

But the greatest of these is love. It is what remains... long after I am gone.

*Added by blog contributor. :)

baby videos

2007-08-11T19:40:00.000-06:00

My friend (and maybe yours), Derek Holt, told me about this article about Baby Einstein and other such videos and their possible effects on infants. While I confess to owning the entire Baby Einstein collection, we do limit Lewis' TV viewing, and see the pros and cons of this type of thing. Anyway.....just wanted to post the link HERE, and would love to hear any comments you all might have about the article and/or your experience with baby videos. At 13 months, it's extremely difficult to tell the effect DVDs could be having on our boy for good or bad. He does get super excited when we put one on though, and once he's glued in it's virtually impossible to steal his attention from the screen. Those of you with older kids may have more insight into this issue. If so, please share!

article from local paper

2007-08-09T19:10:00.000-06:00

Just to follow up from the other day.......here is the article from the Daily News about that incident.

Woman abandoned at tracks
Police say man left his pregnant girlfriend in vehicle with train coming
the Daily News
Published: August 8, 2007

Bowling Green Police Department officers found a man Tuesday shortly after he had parked a sport utility vehicle on railroad tracks with his pregnant girlfriend inside and walked away.

A train was headed south on the track when the white Mitsubishi Montero Sport was left. The woman was able to get out of the vehicle and the train was able to stop in time. Esteban Dejesus Lowery, 25, 5350 Louisville Road Lot 52, was charged with first-degree wanton endangerment.Krystal Juarbe, 18, who was Lowery’s girlfriend, was left inside the vehicle at the railroad tracks at Main Avenue at 10:25 a.m. Lowery took the keys with him when he abandoned the vehicle, said Officer Barry Pruitt, city police spokesman.

Juarbe lived with Lowery and she is seven months pregnant with his child.Police immediately began a search for Lowery and found him on foot at 10:45 a.m., Pruitt said.The two had been involved in an argument at the Warren County Justice Center, according to a city police report. Lowery was afraid that Juarbe was going to leave him in town and return to their house.Lowery grabbed Juarbe by the arm and dragged her back to the vehicle, according to the report. The two continued to argue and it was at that point Lowery parked the vehicle on the tracks and left.Dispatch notified CSX about the vehicle abandoned on the tracks and the company was able to stop its train heading southbound about 150 yards before it would have struck the vehicle, according to the report.

Lowery was found walking at West 12th Avenue and Vine Street. He denied knowing where the keys to the vehicle could be found, according to the report.The vehicle was towed off the railroad tracks. Lowery is in the Warren County Regional Jail on $10,000 bond.

caught on the tracks

2007-08-07T12:17:00.000-06:00

Every morning Lewis and I take a walk. It has been so hot lately, but we have still managed to go almost every day. This morning ended on a shocking note when we approached the train tracks crossing over Main Street downtown. We saw an SUV pull onto the tracks. Immediately, the young man driving quickly got out, walking off into the distance. Soon after, a young woman, obviously 4-5 months pregnant, exited the passenger side door, screaming and somewhat hysterical. Someone in the car behind let her use his cell phone to call the police. While she was still on the phone, a train became visible, approaching from the North. The poor girl became more upset as a gentleman began waving his arms to the train, and as the police pulled up to help get the car off the tracks.

All the sudden, cops were everywhere, trying to find the young man. Standing there in shock, I had been waiting to see what would happen to the car as the train got closer. No one saw what happened to the driver, but the police were in pursuit. I called Justin, who works for the Daily News, and he said their photographers and reporters were on their way. Later he said they thought it was an attempted murder because the driver locked the car and took the keys with him. Fortunately, there are other ways to unlock cars, and his passenger maintained enough composure to figure that out. Still, it reminded me of an episode of CSI where an angry man pushed another car onto some train tracks just as a train was approaching at full speed. Thankfully, this situation ended much better than that. The train had time to stop, and I'm assuming they got the car off the tracks eventually with no one hurt, at least not physically.

Watching that poor girl standing there crying made me rather upset. Pregnancy is supposed to be a wonderful time, though often it is full of nausea and exhaustion that make it less than enjoyable. But having someone try to take your life in the middle of all that is the last thing an expectant mother should have to deal with. My heart absolutely sank for this girl who undoubtedly has entered into the hardest phase of her life. I can only guess that the driver of the car is the father of this baby, and probably does not want the responsibility. My hope is that she has some others who can help her through this, and that God will reveal himself to her in the midst of her pain. I can't help but hope that the young man is found and dealt with justly too. Of course, the baby is on my mind also, and just how this situation will surely have consequences throughout his/her life. It's heart breaking!

Thank God today for your many blessings.......especially your husband, who is undoubtedly a much better example than the one above. I'm so glad that the Lord created things in such a way that babies are given to couples, rather than individuals. Certainly there are cases where becoming a single parent turns out okay, but that is not God's original plan. Raising children is a team effort, and today I'm really grateful for my "team."

unconditional love

2007-07-27T15:05:00.000-06:00

"Praise the Lord, O my soul; and forget not all his benefits--who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's. ...

The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."--Psalm 103:2-5, 8-12

Just to follow up on the last post, there are tons of scriptures like this, but Psalm 103 is one of my all time favorites. One of the things that helps me enjoy God most is remembering his unconditional love. Seeing in print that he does not treat us as our sins deserve reminds me that God still loves me despite the fact that I will sin (by falling into it or willingly finding it) as long as I am wrapped in my flesh here on Earth. His unconditional love is real after all!

Carrie's comment reminded me of something I learned on my first mission trip. Ten years ago I went to Nizhniy Novgorod, Russia for 7 long weeks in the summer. I was going to change the world and tell them all about Jesus. Well.....it turned out to be much harder than I expected. There was a certain amount of culture shock I had not counted on having, and as we met students it seemed that many of them were more interested in meeting Americans than in meeting the Messiah.

But one of our fearless leaders, Nate Jones, gave a devotion about God's unconditional love. He said that there was nothing any of us could do to make God love us any more or any less than He loved us right then in that moment. If we were to go and serve the Lord in Africa for the rest of our days, we would not earn any more of God's love.........and on the flip side, if we became absolute sloths and did nothing until our dying day, God would love us no less. There would be consequences to either choice, obviously, but it was so freeing to realize that my works do not earn God's favor. He loves me because he created me, and I will be most fulfilled and satisfied when I am submitting to His will for me.

That freedom allowed me to watch the Lord work that summer. He worked in and through me some, but more than anything, He worked through our group as we enjoyed fellowship with each other. Our joy spoke volumes to many people who were hurting and longing for purpose in a mostly atheistic culture. More than anything, I enjoyed depending on the Lord in a way I never had before.

Being a mom is similar because there are so many days that I either don't know what to do next in raising Lewis or I do not get done what I intended to do. Thinking about this concept of leisure the last couple of weeks has allowed me to enjoy some things I haven't done in a long time, sometimes leaving some chores undone. As always, thanks for your comments!

leisure?

2007-07-20T08:24:00.000-06:00

This week I have been thinking about the concept of "leisure." In reading this month's chapter from Joyce Rupp's book (that I must comment on each month!), she addresses this topic under the guise of rediscovering our inner child. Rupp is a Catholic nun, as far as I can tell, and it is interesting to consider her perspective since she is not a parent, and yet takes great lengths to stay connected to children in a desire to keep her inner child alive. It sounds almost cheesy, and yet she takes the stance that children live in deep awe and wonder of the world around them, something that adults fail to do so much of the time. As God's children, we should strive to live in a state of wonder at God, and all the things He's made, and all that He is doing around us. Rupp writes:

"I believe that rediscovering our inner child can have a great impact on our spiritual life. This inner ability to wonder and to be in awe most helps us to become contemplative. Contemplation is the prayer of quiet in which we are at home with God. We do not need words. We can be content simply to look upon God and to have God look upon us with great love. Contemplation is the prayer of being in God's presence. Our inner child helps us to enjoy being over doing. In contemplation we do not worry about the success of our prayer or if God is going to answer our prayer or if we are praying the right way. We are simply being with God and enjoying God's presence.

"I once ready a translation of Psalm 46 that had the line 'Have leisure and know that I am God' rather than the familiar 'Be still and know that I am God.' In our true leisure times we can learn to be more receptive, more open, more peaceful, and more ready to recognize the many gifts in our life. Leisure is more than just not doing anything. It is intentionally enjoying life without having to be functional or productive. When we are experiencing leisure we often do not have anything to show for it except a happy heart or a spirit that relishes time spent alone or with others."

I'm not sure about you, but this is a very tough concept for me! It seems like Justin asks from time to time if there's something I want to go do, and offers to watch Lewis.....but I'm so out of touch with the idea of leisure and just enjoying life that it's hard for me to think of something that I can do that does not involve getting something crossed off my list.

The first question in the Westminster catechism asks about the chief end of man, and the answer is "To glorify God and enjoy him forever." Having some leisure time to just be with God, and even do something you enjoy is a wonderful way to fulfill this end. Lewis is a wonderful example of how to do this. He finds it amazing that cabinets open and close, and he chooses to do this over and over just for fun. It's funny that in our society, and even in the church, it seems more spiritual to constantly set aside your desires for work or to accomplish some goal. Really, God's intention is for us to enjoy our lives because our joy is evidence of His glory. It shows that our God is meeting our needs. Our contentment is a testimony to the magnificence of God.

None of this means that work is bad. We absolutely have to keep a balance, but the American work ethic is one that keeps most of us erring on the side of work, success, accomplishments etc.

So.....practically, my hope is to try to practice some leisure in the near future. If anyone has suggestions on how to do that, please let us know!!

incomprehensible

2007-07-12T07:14:00.000-06:00

"See, the Sovereign Lord comes with power, and his arm rules for him. See, his reward is with him, and his recompense accompanies him. He tends his flock like a shepherd; He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.

Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens?.......Who has understood the mind of the Lord, or instructed him as his counselor? Whom did the Lord consult to enlighten him, and who taught him the right way?...

'To whom will you compare me? Or who is my equal?' says the Holy One.'

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."--Isaiah 40:10-14, 25, 28-31

Over the last several weeks, my stress level has been gradually building. This weekend, Justin and I came to one of those make it or break it moments, in regards to our business, as "his right arm" (as he calls her) is on her way out. We have all new employees right now and since neither of us spends much time there, we rely on her to hold everything together.

Other factors have contributed to our general stress level. I've already posted about our mice issues, and lately we have added fleas to the list. The fleas (which must have been brought in by our recently departed cat) love Lewis. We have sprayed and vacuumed and yet they have survived in his room somehow.

Needless to say, all of this stuff has made me feel somewhat out of control and like I could lose my mind at any moment. On Sunday, we heard a powerful sermon on Isaiah 40, much of which is quoted above. It was such an awesome reminder of God's power, but also his tenderness toward us as his beloved children. Sometimes my view of God becomes skewed. I tend to think of him as "big" but not HUGE. Maybe I have been away from the water for too long. It seems like sitting in front of the ocean is a clear picture of how vast and endless our God is. He's not just a little bit bigger than us. He's not even just a little bigger than the ocean, or mountains. He literally holds this entire world in his hands. I can't wrap my mind around this concept, but I think that it is intentional that God is incomprehensible. We have limited understanding, where His is infinite. It must be baffling to him that I so often question what he is doing. I--in my tiny brain, which He created--think I could it do things better so much of the time.

This passage set the backdrop for a good pleading session with the Lord early in the week. Justin and I do not pray together as much as we should. We were much better about it early in our marriage. But seeing our desperate need this week, together acknowledged our need to the Lord, and asked him to act on our behalf. We prayed about a whole lot of things, but our most immediate need, he met almost instantly. One of our former employees has agreed to work for us again and fill the coming void. We can't begin to describe what a relief this is to both of us.

There are still plenty of things for me to worry about, but I also have renewed hope. I know that God not only SEES us and knows our needs, but he is sovereign, willing, and able to act to meet those needs. It seems like I've learned this lesson over and over, but seeing God work so obviously never gets old.

encouraging article

2007-07-06T09:35:00.000-06:00

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble."--Psalm 46:1

This article appeared in the Radiant Newsletter last week. The author does not appear to be a mom, but her story is one we can relate to and empathize with. For me, the tendencies to "overthink" and worry about things I have little or no control over can overtake me when I'm not careful. Jannet's story is a great reminder of God's faithfulness to us......even when we don't deserve it.

My Scar

By Jannet Kwon

As a curious 3-year-old, I once stuck a metal fork into an electrical socket. You can guess what happened next. The results were shocking.

That was more than 20 years ago, and I definitely don’t stick forks into electrical sockets anymore. In fact, I try to steer clear of anything that may cause injury.

But last year I found myself on a surgery bed. I hadn’t gotten injured doing something adventurous or exciting, like cliff diving or snowboarding. (Maybe that would’ve made for a better story.) The surgeon was taking out a benign tumor in my right breast—something that I discovered late one night after doing a breast self-exam before going to bed. The surgery was minor, and the whole experience seemed both huge and insignificant at the same time. It was huge because I had never gone through surgery, yet insignificant because the tumor was benign and the procedure is not uncommon for women in their mid-20s. So maybe this wasn’t such a big deal after all, I thought. I tried to just move on and forget about the whole thing.

But doesn’t everything happen for a reason? I couldn’t shake this question out of my brain, and the small, pink line across my breast couldn’t let me forget, no matter how hard I tried. Every time I came out of the shower, it was staring at me in the mirror; I bought scar-removing ointment at the drugstore. If I sat in my car a certain way, the seat belt strap would rub against it; I just shifted positions in my seat.

I’ve been struggling with health problems for a few years now. I have a hormone imbalance and I have a weak liver. My prayer has constantly been for God to heal me. Heal me so that I don’t have to take any more medication. Heal me so that I can be stronger. So that I can run. So that I won’t get headaches. So that I won’t be easily tired. Just heal me. And even after all these prayers, I still have a hormone imbalance and a weak liver.

The surgery was another way that I felt physically defeated. I wanted to block out my health problems and the surgery. I wanted to leave things at the surface. But something I’ve learned about God is that He doesn’t just let us float; He plunges us into the deep. If we’re ready, we’ll see what’s waiting for us at the bottom, but

if we’re not, we’ll think we’re drowning.

My surgery happened about a year after I returned from a mission trip that had radically changed the way I viewed God and myself. On this particular trip I had gone through a lot of healing and had gained a lot of knowledge and truth about God’s character. Looking back, I see that if the surgery had happened a year earlier, I would have been shaking my fists toward heaven and lamenting. OK, not really, not in the Old Testament sort of way—in sackcloth and throwing ashes on my head—but in the 21st-century sort of way: getting angry, depressed, accusatory and turning my back on God. But when it happened, I was at a place where I had grown spiritually so that I was ready to take on the pain and go into the deep. I knew that God wouldn’t allow me to drown. So what exactly did He want me to see?

Just like any relationship, my relationship with God is confusing and trying at times. I have to consciously remind myself that if God gave up His only son for me, to take away the most evil thing—separation from Him—He most certainly doesn’t want to harm me. There was nothing that I could do to change the situation. I had to give up my worrying and overthinking tendencies and just trust God. The more I trust Him, the more I love Him, because He continues to live up to my expectations—a God who will never leave me.

I cannot do anything alone. It is through God’s love that I can find strength and peace. I believe He allowed this scar to be etched onto my body as a physical reminder that He is with me in the big events and in my most vulnerable moments. Rather than being an ugly mark on my body, my scar now serves as a beautiful reminder that God’s been here for me through all of my physical and spiritual struggles.

And when those new, unexpected obstacles appear (which I’m sure they will), my scar will be a sign of comfort and strength, knowing that I am not alone and God is powerful enough to carry me through hazy and uncertain circumstances.

Jannet is an editor for a Christian organization based in Los Angeles. She enjoys spending time with friends, discussing song lyrics and hanging out in bookstores.

angry mama

2007-06-28T10:06:00.000-06:00

"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires."--James 1:19-20.

Lewis turned one year-old today! It's really hard to believe that his first year of life is over. He is no longer an infant, even a baby. Though he's not really toddling, I'm sure he's moved into that phase of life. He, at the very least, desperately desires to be independent and walk on his own. Still, with his growth comes more moods and preferences. I'm sad to say that his expression of these new preferences lately has resulted in frustration and anger on my part--thus these verses from James to help me refocus.

This time last year I was excited about being a new mom and desperately wanting to conquer breastfeeding and bring my baby home. Now, when Lewis takes what seem to be steps back (refusing to feed himself or eat veggies he's happily eaten for up to 6 months) it is hard for me to deal with. Without taking a breath and stepping back to think, my anger can quickly overcome me. And I can certainly agree with James that anger does not bring about righteousness. It causes me to say things I regret, or worse yet, to more easily give into anger the next time which lends to general grumpiness and a bad mood. No husband wants to come home to a wife like that!

And Lewis certainly does not intend to hurt me or cause me harm. He just knows that for whatever reason, green beans are not as tasty as they once were, and if that's his choice, he might rather not eat. It should be no surprise that throwing Cheerios all over the floor is tons of fun too, right?

It also occurs to me that this is not the worst phase we will go through in parenting. Lewis is not even talking yet! I realize that by choosing to let the Spirit live through me in these encounters now, it will be easier as time goes on to react well when difficult situations arise. My friend, Heather Morozov, always says you have to pick your battles, and I'm learning now which things are big enough to fight for, and which ones to let go of for the moment. Either way, anger does not accomplish anything good.

I write this almost reluctantly, trusting that there are others who struggle with this kind of thing. You don't have to confess it here if you do, but just know you're not alone! No one is ever going to be perfect in any area. I'm sure more failures will come for me in this, but we should strive to to overcome our sinful tendencies through the power of the Spirit. Thank God we don't have to do it alone!

the dangers of hand sanitizer

2007-06-18T16:37:00.000-06:00

My sister sent me this link at snopes.com to some info about kids who have gotten "drunk" after licking hand sanitizer off their hands. Lots of people use this stuff these days, and a lot of it smells rather appetizing.....so pass the word to help other parents avoid these kind of terrifying experiences.

children and church

2007-06-14T10:33:00.000-06:00

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching." --Hebrews 10:23-25

Lately it seems that many of the people in my life are struggling with "church." Justin and I are no different, unfortunately, as we are currently without a church home. We really don't expect to find the perfect church, but really desire to worship and serve, and impact our community, while still being challenged to practically apply God's Word to our lives everyday. And we want fellowship with others who are also striving to live holy lives. It seems simple enough!

But then there is another factor that we must consider as well. We want to find a place where Lewis will have every opporunity to encounter the Lord too, and where he can grow up learning about Jesus and how to walk with him.

So, knowing that we are not alone, my hope is to hear from some of you through this "survey" about how others deal with this issue. If you would rather not share your identity, that is fine. You can always leave a comment anonymously on this blog. The easiest way to participate is to copy (CTRL C/APPLE C) these questions and paste (CTRL V) them into the comments spot. I'm really not fishing for right answers here, just wanting to learn from you.

1--Name (OPTIONAL)
2--Your kids' ages (OPTIONAL)
3--Many of you have moved recently or changed churches. How has having children affected the whole process of finding a church home?
4--How has having children impacted your church attendance? Are you more regular, less regular or about the same and why?
5--How do you feel about church nurseries? Do you use them, like them etc.? If you have put your children in a nursery at some point, describe your experience--good, bad etc.
6--How has the church been a source of encouragement to you as parents?
7--Complete the statement- "In the area of ministry to parents and/or children, I wish my church would __________ ."
8--Do you have any advice for young parents regarding church involvement?

Thanks!

top names of 2006

2007-06-11T12:30:00.001-06:00

This came from www.ivillage.com:

Here are the top 10 boys and girls names for 2006:

To see how popular your name or kids' names are go to the Social Security Administration's website.

do not fear

2007-06-05T12:32:00.000-06:00

"Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."--Joshua 1:8-9

Fear is a very odd thing. It feels like it comes up when you least expect it, and it can terribly disturb our very lives. Women are certainly more prone to fear than men are, or maybe it is another kind of fear. Men fear failure and letting others down. Women fear physical harm and often various irrational things that have only a slight chance of ever occurring. We fear spiders, thunderstorms, and the unknown. Motherhood brings a whole new group of fears. We worry about our pregnancies, and keeping the babies inside us safe. We worry about the delivery of those babies. Then when they are here we worry about so many aspects of their little lives and anything that might get in the way of a normal existence. It is easy to let fear consume us if we are not careful.

This week there have been several scary things happen that brought fear into our home. The first, a mouse, was relatively harmless. Still, when I found several ketchup packets torn to shreds in one of our kitchen drawers I felt violated, in a way, that there was an uninvited guest rummaging through our things. When I saw the little guy, I was not terrified like the first time I saw a mouse in our home (just after we got married). But this time, as a mom, it upset me that a dirty creature was spreading his germs around our kitchen. My hero, Justin, set a trap that night and the next morning our mouse was no longer an issue!

A few days later, Justin was working in the evening, as he does two nights a week. I had put Lewis to bed around 9 p.m., but he was having trouble falling to sleep for some reason, and I had been in and out of his room a number of times when I heard a knock at the door. We do not have any way to see people without opening the door, and since we never have random people stop by after dark, I was immediately worried about who it might be. I called Justin and asked if he knew of anyone who might be coming by. He said that I should just ask, "Who's there" if the knocking continued.

Well, sure enough, a few minutes later, there was another knock, and with my phone in hand, I asked, "Who is it?" I must've asked loudly about three times before I heard a man respond, "It's your next door neighbor." That did not help me at all! Some people just moved out on one side of us, but why would a new neighbor choose this time of night to introduce himself? So I asked, "Can I help you with something?" He said, "I just wanted to ask you a question." Still skeptical, I said, "I'm in the middle of putting my son to bed right now." He said okay, and a few minutes later I heard a car pull away out on the street.

A few days have gone by now, and our 'neighbor' has not returned to ask his question, which leaves me to my original theory that this was someone with malicious intent looking for a naive person to open their door to a stranger. I have prayed for our protection many times since then. The thought that someone could harm me is scary enough, but my blood boils when I think someone may want to harm my child.

Still, I've heard on a number of occasions that the most repeated command in scripture is 'Do not fear' or 'Do not be afraid.' It helps me to realize that God is my protector and my refuge. He is able to see all those things and/or people who could potentially bring me harm. And yet, time and again, he asks me to trust him, and to take shelter in him. Whether your fear comes from spiders, mice, or mysterious knocks in the night, the Lord is with you wherever you go. It doesn't mean that nothing bad will ever happen. I have to remind myself that if he allows harm to come to my family, that it is not random, but that he has a specific purpose in mind for every trial that comes our way. Worrying about it only locks me into a prison of fear that I cannot escape on my own. That's not to say that I don't have moments when I am afraid, but God consistently provides comfort, and a way out from dwelling on that fear.

my faith journey

2007-05-29T15:55:00.000-06:00

"I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away'......I did not see a temple in the city, because the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are its temple.....Nothing impure will ever enter it, nor will anyone who does what is shameful or deceitful, but only those whose names are written in the Lamb's book of life."--Revelation 21:2-4, 22 & 27.

When I was 6 years-old (the latter part of my kindergarten year), my family attended an Alliance Church in Louisville. One day my Sunday school teacher, Mrs. Lolly, who seemed incredibly ancient at the time, told us about the Lamb's book of life. She said the Bible talked about this book, and whoever had their name written in it would go to heaven. I can't remember another single thing we learned in her class, but that idea stuck with me. I went home determined to get my name in that book, and asked my mom for help.

She explained to me that we are sinful, like when I would fight with my sister, or disobey her or my dad. Because of our sins, we needed forgiveness before God to be able to be in his presence in heaven. The problem was (and still is) that there is nothing we can do to earn his forgiveness. Only a perfect sacrifice would be acceptable to God, and since none of us are perfect, Christ (who I later learned was God in the flesh, also God's son, the third person of the Trinity) came and died in our place. She told me that if I confessed my sin to God, and invited Jesus into my life and into my heart, that I would be forgiven of all sin, and my name would be written in the Lamb's Book of Life.

I remember after that, asking my mom to write my name in my Bible on the page that separated the Old and New Testaments. I wanted a visual reminder of my salvation. It's funny because I look back and realize that at the time, there was so little of my faith that made sense. But as I grew, the pieces came together more and more. By the time I was in middle school, my nickname became "Thumper" (short for Bible thumper, someone told me) because I was always talking to the other kids about Jesus. I wanted them all to discover the joy of a relationship with God, and to go to heaven, of course. In my zeal, I'm sure I was fairly obnoxious, but I really cared for people.

Looking back, I'm so grateful that I came to know the Lord at an early age. Some have told me that they don't think it's possible for children that young to understand the gospel, but my memory of the whole thing is so vivid, I'm certain that it happened for me, and I know of others with similar experiences.

Lately, as I've been praying for Lewis, that is one of my main requests, that he would grasp the gospel early, come to know Christ, and avoid a lot of sin that could entangle and harm him. Becoming a Christian does not ensure a perfect life, but my prayer is that Lewis would grow to love the Lord and desire to please him, trusting him with everything. We pray for wisdom to raise him to be a leader and to go against the flow of society when it goes against God's revealed will in scripture. I'm looking forward to the day when Lewis might point me toward the truth when I inevitably lose my cool or whatever. He will see me at my worst, no doubt!

Anyway, I was curious if any of you had anything that you pray for often for your kids. Maybe it's because of your own faith journey (which you can post as well, if you want), or maybe you start praying and end up somewhere unexpected. If you have anything you'd like to share, we would all certainly benefit.

making yogurt

2007-05-26T15:16:00.001-06:00

We posted something on our family blog about making baby yogurt recently, and I found a website that had an illustrated guide that looks like it would work well. You can check it out HERE.

We have made several batches now, and it is really easy, once you get the hang of it. We have a French press coffeemaker that I've been using to make our yogurt. A wide-mouth jar would work almost just as well. Before starting, be sure to sterilize all utensils and containers you want to use. I just boil water and fill/soak everything for about 5 minues.

My steps end up being:

1). Pour whole milk into the French press (approx. 1/2 gallon), and put the whole thing into a large cooking pot full of water without covering. Using a cooking thermometer, heat the milk to 180 degrees F.

2). Cool the milk at room temperature (we tried cooling in the fridge and room temp. is just as easy) stirring often until milk reaches 112 degrees F. Set out starter (3 to 4 Tbl. of plain yogurt) while milk cools.

3). Once cooled, add some of the hot milk to the starter and stir. Then rejoin with rest of hot milk. Add 1/3 to 1/2 cup fat-free powdered milk for additional nutrition and to thicken. This has really made a difference for us, though it is optional. Stir thoroughly, cover with plastic wrap and/or lid to keep bacteria out. The French press has a very small hole in the top which allows me to keep the thermometer submerged and yet easily visible for checking the temperature during incubation. However you do it, keep your thermometer visible in such a way that you will not have to disturb the yogurt. Any stirring, jiggling etc. will mess it up, trust me!!

4). Incubate for 4+ hours keeping the temperature between 90 and 120 degrees F. I have found that resubmerging the French press into the warm water used in Step1, and covering with a towel keeps the temperature for 4+ hours. I still check every hour or so, but really it holds very well. The cooler method used on the link above looks great too, if your cooler is really clean, which ours is not. :)

5). After 4 hours, check to see if it is done by tilting your container or touching with a clean finger. Four hours works great for us. We then refrigerate in a different container, let it sit for another hour at least before serving and then add fruit or whatever before giving to baby. Your baby will eat it plain (so they say), but I like to combine it with something. Keep a few tablespoons out as a starter for your next batch. The kicker here is that you need to make your next batch within a week. It is still much cheaper than store bought yogurt. TIP FROM LINK ABOVE: I just noticed that you can also freeze some of the yogurt as a starter and thaw the next time you're ready to make yogurt. That sounds like a good alternative!

Your batch of yogurt will keep in the fridge up to 2 weeks.

I'm still a beginner, but have enjoyed the process of making yogurt. It's fun! After your second batch you'll hardly have to pay attention to what you're doing and if you're at home anyway it takes little effort to do. Babysit that first batch, and don't give up if it fails the first time. My first batch was not edible! Since then it has worked great.

disturbing article

2007-05-22T22:03:00.000-06:00

This was something Justin came across in the NY Times:

Death by Veganism
By NINA PLANCK
The NY Times

WHEN Crown Shakur died of starvation, he was 6 weeks old and weighed
3.5 pounds. His vegan parents, who fed him mainly soy milk and apple
juice, were convicted in Atlanta recently of murder, involuntary
manslaughter and cruelty.

This particular calamity — at least the third such conviction of
vegan parents in four years — may be largely due to ignorance. But it
should prompt frank discussion about nutrition.

I was once a vegan. But well before I became pregnant, I concluded
that a vegan pregnancy was irresponsible. You cannot create and
nourish a robust baby merely on foods from plants.

Indigenous cuisines offer clues about what humans, naturally
omnivorous, need to survive, reproduce and grow: traditional
vegetarian diets, as in India, invariably include dairy and eggs for
complete protein, essential fats and vitamins. There are no vegan
societies for a simple reason: a vegan diet is not adequate in the
long run.

Protein deficiency is one danger of a vegan diet for babies.
Nutritionists used to speak of proteins as “first class” (from meat,
fish, eggs and milk) and “second class” (from plants), but today this
is considered denigrating to vegetarians.

The fact remains, though, that humans prefer animal proteins and fats
to cereals and tubers, because they contain all the essential amino
acids needed for life in the right ratio. This is not true of plant
proteins, which are inferior in quantity and quality — even soy.

A vegan diet may lack vitamin B12, found only in animal foods; usable
vitamins A and D, found in meat, fish, eggs and butter; and necessary
minerals like calcium and zinc. When babies are deprived of all these
nutrients, they will suffer from retarded growth, rickets and nerve
damage.

Responsible vegan parents know that breast milk is ideal. It contains
many necessary components, including cholesterol (which babies use to
make nerve cells) and countless immune and growth factors. When
breastfeeding isn’t possible, soy milk and fruit juice, even in
seemingly sufficient quantities, are not safe substitutes for a
quality infant formula.

Yet even a breast-fed baby is at risk. Studies show that vegan breast
milk lacks enough docosahexaenoic acid, or DHA, the omega-3 fat found
in fatty fish. It is difficult to overstate the importance of DHA,
vital as it is for eye and brain development.

A vegan diet is equally dangerous for weaned babies and toddlers, who
need plenty of protein and calcium. Too often, vegans turn to soy,
which actually inhibits growth and reduces absorption of protein and
minerals. That’s why health officials in Britain, Canada and other
countries express caution about soy for babies. (Not here, though —
perhaps because our farm policy is so soy-friendly.)

Historically, diet honored tradition: we ate the foods that our
mothers, and their mothers, ate. Now, your neighbor or sibling may be
a meat-eater or vegetarian, may ferment his foods or eat them raw.
This fragmentation of the American menu reflects admirable diversity
and tolerance, but food is more important than fashion. Though it’s
not politically correct to say so, all diets are not created equal.

An adult who was well-nourished in utero and in infancy may choose to
get by on a vegan diet, but babies are built from protein, calcium,
cholesterol and fish oil. Children fed only plants will not get the
precious things they need to live and grow.

Nina Planck is the author of “Real Food: What to Eat and Why.”

a great painter

2007-05-21T07:03:00.000-06:00

"Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?"--John 18:11

"Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?"--Job 2:10

Taken from Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman. This excerpt is by Tauler:

"God is a thousand times more meticulous with us than even an artist is with his canvas. Using many brush strokes of sorrow, and circumstances of various colors, He paints us into the highest and best image He visualizes, if we will only receive His bitter gifts of myrrh in the right spirit.

Yet when our cup of sorrows is taken away and the lessons in it are suppressed or go unheeded, we do more damage to our soul than could ever be repaired. No human heart can imagine the incomparable love God expresses in His gift of myrrh. However, this great gift that our soul should receive is allowed to pass by us because of our sleepy indifference, and ultimately nothing comes of it.

Then, in our barrenness we come and complain, saying, 'O Lord, I feel so dry, and there is so much darkness within me!' My advice to you, dear child, is to open your heart to the pain and suffering, and it will accomplish more good than being full of emotion and sincerity."

hiatus

2007-05-18T21:41:00.000-06:00

"The Lord is my strength and my shield: my heart trusts in him, and I am helped."--Psalm 28:7

Forgive the posting hiatus! This week quickly turned into one heap of laundry after another when Lewis (now almost 11 months old) got his first ever stomach-virus. Unfortunately, I followed suit, and got to experience the agony of nausea that had nothing to do with pregnancy. It was not fun. But we are both on the downhill slope now. We're not quite 100%, but almost. It seems like health is something we tend to take for granted when we have it, and long for when we don't. Today was gorgeous, and I really enjoyed feeling almost normal after yesterday.

I became quickly grateful for so many of the conveniences we have in washing machines and dryers, disposable diapers, and my trusty breast pump to keep me from getting totally uncomfortable when Lewis didn't want to nurse. It was tough caring for him when I was feeling junky, but it made me so grateful that most days I feel just fine. There are so many people who struggle with illness and fatigue everyday. I really don't know how they do it. I'm also grateful for a husband who is willing to make me pancakes for dinner and mess with Lewis after a full day of work at a less-than-satisfying job. He also made a special trip to get me a frosty around 9:30 p.m. What a guy!

And for the first time, I was so happy that my boy is not crawling all over the place. It was so nice to be able to watch Lewis play while lying on the couch, resting, and know that he was not going anywhere! I'm pretty sure I drifted off to sleep a couple of times, but he never moved an inch. Next week, I'll be pushing him to mobility, but this week it was a relief that he has not figured it out quite yet.

Thanks for your encouraging comments on this blog and our family blog too. I really feel a sense of camaraderie with my fellow "mommas" out there. I'm glad we can help each other figure this parenting thing out. Hope you all had a wonderful Mother's Day!

my mom

2007-05-11T20:28:00.000-06:00

With Mother's Day approaching, my thoughts have turned to my mom, and the chasm that now exists between us. She's with the Lord, and certainly thrilled to be there. I'm happy for her, and certainly glad that she is free from the sufferings that came to her physically before she passed. Still, I can't say that I don't miss her. In fact, sometimes it seems like the more that times goes on, the more I miss her and wish I could pick her brain on a range of issues.

To give you a little background, my mom grew up in a pretty difficult situation. My grandmother had been married due to unplanned pregnancies twice, and divorced both times by the time my mom was 8. In fact, mom saw her father for the last time when she was just 10 years-old. Grandma told mom on several occasions that if abortion had been legal when she was conceived, she would've never been born. Mom was passed around quite a bit among her relatives and struggled from a low self-esteem. Still, at age 12 at a church camp, mom invited Christ into her life. It was not until much later that mom really grew in her faith through an organization called the Navigators. The unconditional love of a discipler/mentor helped mom to mature spiritually and socially, which equipped her for the ministry God had for her.

Because of her own rough childhood, mom worked hard to create a loving environment for my sisters and me. Despite our low income early on, mom never worked outside the home, and she was anything but a lazy housewife! She was always available for us after school, which meant alot, especially when we got into high school and other kids started getting into trouble. Her ministry went far beyond our family too. She had compassion for people that was hard to match. There were always tons of people around our house. We had Youth For Christ meetings in our home when my sisters got into high school. We had several people who lived with us for varying amounts of time because mom found it hard to turn down someone in need. She was involved in another ministry called Stonecroft, leading Bible studies all over Louisville. She had groups in random businesses on their lunch hour, in the ghetto or in people's homes. Even when she got cancer she adopted the nurses and other patients going through chemotherapy.

It was truly amazing at her funeral to see hundreds of people who had been influenced by her life; a diverse group of all ages and races. She made it clear at her funeral what she wanted them to know--Christ can take a broken life and turn it around for his glory. She was proof!

Four years ago this weekend, I came home from Belarus, leaving staff with Campus Crusade. Justin had proposed a couple months earlier, and I had returned to prepare for our marriage. It was the last time I got to surprise mom. She thought I was coming back the next week, but I got home in time for Mother's Day, much to her delight. For the next 5 months or so, we saw mom steadily decline until the chemo stopped working altogether. Her two-years of treatments were coming to an end. The cancer was mutating so quickly that it was almost instantly immune to new drugs. The last six weeks were the hardest because she was suffering, and I was there to witness much of the agony. Even then, she clung to the Word of God for strength and looked forward to meeting her creator in person. I remember finding her one day watching HGTV, crying. When I asked her what was going on she said, "I can't decide if I want to go to heaven and be with the Lord, or if I want to plant a garden and watch it grow." Then she started laughing. Both options seemed really good at the time.

Honestly, at the time of mom's death, there was great relief. Watching her die sucked the life out of me, and I was ready to be revived. It was not until a few months later that I began to really feel the void. It still haunts me. Pregnancy and motherhood have brought a new desire for my mom. She wanted so badly to have grandchildren and I would so love to see the look on her face meeting her grandson for the first time. Maybe I'll still get to see that first encounter in heaven someday. But for now I have to muddle through without her. Mothers love in a way that no one else can. They love deeply, unconditionally and completely. Even their unwarranted advice is a sign of their love. What I would give now for some of that advice. Some days are easy, but many are hard, and I realize that I will never get over this loss. But I guess I'm not supposed to.

My dad told me recently that my mom would be proud of me for breastfeeding Lewis and the job I've done so far. There's no greater compliment in my mind. She had her problems, but she set an example that I want to follow. I see glimpses of her in myself some days and smile.

out of deep waters into delight

2007-05-09T07:50:00.000-06:00

"I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies....
He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.......He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me."--Psalm 18:1-3,16 & 19.

Sometimes it's hard to imagine the Lord delighting in me. Sometimes I don't feel very delightful. But if it's anything like the joy that Lewis brings to Justin and I, it's a wonderful thing! Just hearing Lewis cooing in the morning makes me giddy. He is so cute and sweet. In the morning he is especially silly. Once he has eaten he starts jumping and "talking" loudly. He often chooses that time to give several sloppy kisses. He doesn't have a lot of ways to show his affection, but I definitely take delight in the simple things he does to communicate his love. Even at 10 months old he is able to express love, and there is nothing sweeter to a mom. It is so humbling that God has entrusted us with this precious life for the next 18 years or so!

To think that God looks at me in the same way is such a comforting thought. There are many things I say and do that must disappoint him. Still, I know that he sees me as a whole person, and must see my heart and my true desire to bring him glory. Unfortunately, I do not carry out this desire flawlessly all the time, but it is the absolute passion of my life, and one I long to develop more and more. Today as you look at your child, allow yourself to consider that the God who made you is looking on you too and delighting in you.

praying for purpose

2007-05-04T10:33:00.000-06:00

Here a short excerpt from Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures For Your Children," specifically from the chapter 'Praying For Your Child's Purpose in Life.' Jodie writes:

"Rather than pigeonholing or manipulating our kids into a life path that might not line up with God's design, let's learn to see our kids through God's eyes--and align ourselves with his plan for their lives. To this end, author Jean Fleming recommends regular times of prayer and planning for each child. As we bring our children before the Lord, she says we should:

* ACKNOWLEDGE God's hand on their lives, even before they born.
* ADMIT any areas we resent in the way God put our children together.
* ACCEPT God's design for each child, thanking him for how he or she was made.
* AFFIRM God's purpose in creating our children for his glory.
* ALLY ourselves with God in his plans for their lives.

Of course, trusting in God and his plan for our kids--along with accepting his timetable--is not always easy. But if we remember that he loves them (even more than we do), and that he promises to work in all things for the good of those who love him, we can quit pushing and prodding--and get down to the real business of praying."

in the Bible and on LOST

2007-05-02T08:12:00.000-06:00

"So Boaz took Ruth and she became his wife. Then he went to her, and the Lord enabled her to conceive, and she gave birth to a son. The women said to Naomi: "Praise be to the Lord, who this day has not left you without a kinsman-redeemer. May he become famous throughout Israel! He will renew your life and sustain you in your old age. For your daughter-in-law, who loves you and who is better to you than seven sons, has given him birth." --Ruth 4:13-15

If any of you watch the show LOST you may be finding the connection between the island and fertility very curious!! People who conceive there seem to have trouble, but then again people who otherwise couldn't get pregnant, all the sudden are able to. Who knows what will become of this dilemma. We keep expecting Bernard and Rose to show back up with a baby on the way too. That theory is probably too far fetched even for LOST.

Still, in a similar way, throughout both the Old and New Testaments, God shows himself to be very involved in the fertility and/or infertility of women. In this passage in Ruth, "God enabled her to conceive," and her line continues all the way to Christ. Have you ever wondered about how amazing it was that both of Naomi's daughters-in-law had not become pregnant before the death of their husbands? Without birth control like we have now, it would seem like the vast majority of couples would have had babies immediately. Maybe part of Naomi's struggle with the Lord in this passage was due to the fact that she lost her husband, both of her sons, AND she had no grandchildren resulting from either of those unions to bring her fulfillment or to continue the family name. It seems rather odd that it happened this way.

Most of us probably feel somewhat, if not totally, in control of our reproductive lives, and yet passages like this indicate that the Lord is still very involved and ultimately totally in control of how many babies we produce. And because of God's holy character, we know that His plan is ALWAYS good. We may not be able to see it this way when our desires do not come to fruition the way we had hoped. Still, Naomi's story shows that God does not forget about his children. He often does things in such a way that He is brought the utmost glory.

I have seen this even in cases where couples have not been able to conceive on their own. Parents who otherwise may not have considered adoption end up raising the children God had intended to be theirs all along.

However our story plays out, it is awesome to know that every life has the mark of the Creator, and with it an inexplicable hope of things to come. This hope reflects the ultimate hope we have for heaven. Thankfully, we do not have to wait to begin enjoying eternal life. It begins when we receive Christ. It's like Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 13:12: "Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."

random nursing story

2007-04-26T22:07:00.000-06:00

Sometimes people really surprise me. Yesterday was no exception. I was driving home from a visit with Justin's parents in Shepherdsville. My plan for Lewis to sleep the whole way did not pan out, and he was getting fussy and we were still a good 30 miles from home. So I pulled off in Munfordville, KY behind the DQ in the parking lot of a strip mall, determined to feed Lewis as quickly as possible and get back on the road. We've done this many times in desperate situations where there was no private area to nurse a baby. Side note: I'm not into breastfeeding in public. Lewis refuses to stay covered up and gets so distracted that I usually feed him in a low-lit room even at home.

My strategy in these parked-car situations is to pull to the back of the lot where there are few, if any, other cars. I have to sit in the passenger seat so that there is room to maneuver. In Munfordville, I found my spot, got set up and started nursing, when about 5 cars pulled in and parked all around me. I had rolled down the windows because it was hot, and so the car on my right was very up close and personal. I turned to look, trying to stay covered, and was relieved that it was a woman, probably in her 40's. I smiled and nodded and turned my attention back to Lewis. This woman proceeded to stand there, watching, saying sweetly, "Oh my, you have a LITTLE one!" When I realized she was not going to leave I said, "He gets very distracted while he eats if you don't mind." She quickly turned and walked off, seemingly offended.

The next thing I knew, a car was backing into the spot to my left. When this car got parked, the driver also had a very good view. To my dismay, this driver was a man, who rolled down his windows and just sat there! Lewis was angry because I was no longer feeding him at all with our new visitor. Frustrated I turned to the man and said, "Excuse me, I'm trying to nurse my baby. Is it possible you could park somewhere else?" He seemed sincerely apologetic and said, "I'm sorry, sure I can move. I'm just here to pick someone up from some training. They told us to park back here."

Just my luck!! As soon as my new friend left, I calmed down and was able to feed my boy, and we were back on the road in no time. The situation was frustrating, but I could not figure out why the first lady felt so comfortable watching a stranger nurse. It seemed obvious that I was trying to be private. My mothering reaction was to chase off the intruder, at which I quickly succeeded. Maybe someone should invent window shades that provide cover saying, "EXCUSE ME, I'm breastfeeding!" I'm sure this little lady in Munfordville is writing on her blog about what a rude, young mother chased her away from a beautiful moment. Hopefully we will both be able to move on and forgive each other. :)

Sorry to vent. I just couldn't believe it! Early on strangers said all kinds of weird things to me just walking around with Lewis, but this one took the cake!! Do any of you have any weird stories like this?

what about dinner?

2007-04-24T15:15:00.000-06:00

Last week I finally went to a MOPS meeting! It was fun and encouraging. The speaker was Robin Shea, who does a segment on our local news channel, WBKO's Midday Live every Wednesday called "Meals in Minutes." She got into meal stacking as a mother of four (correct me, someone, if that is incorrect!). She talked at MOPS about the importance of families eating together regularly. Obviously, there are plenty of demands on our time that makes this kind of thing hard, especially as children get bigger. But the statistics show that kids who eat with their families 4-5 times a week are less likely to use drugs and/or engage in other deviant behaviors in their teen years.

It was rather convicting for me because we have gotten into a bad routine of dining in front of the TV. Now that Lewis is eating solids, we often feed him and then eat while he plays. We can see the benefit to sitting around a table and eating just so he can visibly picture how adults eat. When we have sat with him at the table, he does mimic what we do (sort of!) and I think it will become even more important as he gets bigger. The other benefit would be spending some quality time with your spouse. We are working on implementing Robin's ideas in our home. I grew up having dinner with my family and look at how well we turned out! (just kidding!). Do you have tips to share about how to make dinner time as a family come together?

Go to www.wbko.com/mealsinminutes for tons of free recipes to spice up your lives!

influences over the decades

2007-04-19T06:54:00.000-06:00

A friend who is a teacher sent these lists of the top 5 influences of kids in various decades. It shows how things have changed over the last 60 years, and really not for the better!

1950's

1. Home

2. School

3. Church

4. Peers

5. TV

1980's

1. Home

2. Peers

3. TV

4. School

5. Church

1990's

1. Peers

2. TV

3. Home

4. School

5. Church

PRESENT

1. TV

2. Peers

3. School

4. Church

5. Home

authentic living

2007-04-16T08:45:00.000-06:00

"He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: 'I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.'"--Matthew 18:2-4

Have you ever noticed that babies have no concern whatsoever about their personal image? Little kids are like that a lot of the time too, but at some point all humans begin to make choices in light of the way those choices will be viewed by others. For example, Lewis is never concerned about how he might look chewing on his hands, feet or any other object that may come his way. If he makes a loud, bodily noise he does not look around in shame or embarassment. When he is playing with a toy he likes, he smiles, and if he is bored, he starts to fuss. There is no thought in his mind when someone gives him a gift to pretend to like it to spare their feelings. No one expects him to be anything but genuine because that is all he is capable of being.

It occurred to me that Lewis is at a precious age of undeniable honesty. There is very little, if any, manipulation going on yet because he's just not capable of it. I can trust that when he refuses to kiss me, for example, at my consistent request, that it is not because he doesn't love me--he just doesn't want to at that moment. Smiles and laughs are real. Cries and yells are authentic.

Maybe this is why God wants us to come to him like little children. He surely wants us to come without pretense, without masks to cover our true selves. He knows our hearts anyway so there is no reason to put up a front like we are something different or better than we really are. In a world where there is pressure from every angle to live up to the expectations of others, it is refreshing to have a God who sees us the way we are, and loves us despite the ugly parts of us. That is not to say that He merely overlooks sin. No, like a loving parent, He will discipline us for our own good and for His glory. Just like we will not allow our kids to run out in the street, He will not allow us to do things that will bring eventual harm to ourselves, our families, and His body, the church, without consequences.

Sometimes the hardest part is humbling OURSELVES. Seeing myself the way God does is not fun. Self-deception is far more comfortable. We do this when we compare ourselves to others and think, "I'm at least better than that guy." This attitude enables us to hold on to "little" sins that we enjoy. Unfortunately, it builds a wall around my heart that keeps others out and limits my relationship with the Lord. It's like constantly putting a rug over a stain on the floor. The stain is still there, we just avoid looking at it for as long as possible and sometimes even forget that it exists.

Here are a few questions to think about in authentic living:

--Is there anyone you are COMPLETELY honest with in your life? Are you willing to let people hold you accountable for areas you struggle in?

--Are there parts of your life you try to keep hidden? Do you live in fear that people would reject you if they really get to know you?

--Think about the most genuine person you know (over age 1!). What do enjoy most about that relationship? How can you emulate these traits in your own life?

--In contrast--are there people around me who I need to wary of? Please do not look around to be judgmental, but ask the Lord for discernment in whom to trust. Beware of those who are eager to ask for favors, rarely (truly) apologetic and overly defensive (the opposite of humble). If you get that feeling in your gut, it may be the Holy Spirit showing you to be careful.

Join me in working toward this kind of living. Genuine people, like Lewis, are so refreshing to be around because authenticity rubs off and allows you to be you!

how's your garden?

2007-04-13T11:58:00.000-06:00

"...you will be like a watered garden, like a flowing spring whose waters never run dry."--Isaiah 58:11

This morning I was reading a chapter in Joyce Rupp's book May I Have This Dance, which is a month-by-month guide to deepening our relationship with God. She always challenges me to set aside the view I have of myself and God even, and just be real so that I can grow. Her April chapter is fittingly about resurrection: Jesus' resurrection and my own. She compares the human spirit to a spring garden, whose soil may be packed and hard after a long winter of bitter cold weather. In order for growth to occur, it must be made ready through tilling and turning over the earth which can be back-breaking work.

Rupp writes, "This part of gardening is essential, however, if green shoots are to push their way through the soil. A garden that has a hard, packed surface will not be able to receive the life-giving moisture of the spring rains. The water will run off and fail to soak the soil."

It is so easy to cling to this hardness. Working to soften ourselves so that we can be open to newly planted seeds and the waters that help them grow is painful! When we open ourselves up to these good things, the possibility of greater pain increases.

Rupp further explains, "Nothing prevents personal transformation more than a closed mind or heart. Change cannot take place if we cling to and clutch at what we think is unchangeable. When our security is at stake, we may withdraw or fight instead of listening, instead of thinking, praying, and talking about the challenge that is before us. We defend our positions and our feelings, and find others to help us to defend them instead of letting go, receiving new information, and listening to different perspectives that call for a change in us or others." Sadly, this scenario is all too familiar in my life!

Some things to think through:

--Reflect on your life since last Easter. Where have you been open? Where have you been closed? What do they tell you about your inner life?

--Look at the inner garden of your life. Where do the waters of life flow freely? Where do you see signs of growth, birth, hope, change, nurturing? How is God coaxing life out of you? What is being raised to life in you?

As moms, if we try at all, we can easily see the Lord breathing life into ourselves and our children. He is more than able to fill our souls with joy and refresh us when we need it most.

another great article

2007-04-11T10:11:00.000-06:00

Sarah Wilson had another article published in the Radiant newsletter. This time she shares how becoming a mom has caused "Change for the Better" in her life. It's worth taking a look at!

true love

2007-04-09T19:20:00.000-06:00

Philip Yancey quoted a woman named Judy Morford in his book on prayer (that I've mentioned before!). She's a mom and had some interesting things to say that we can relate to. Here's her short excerpt:

"My own prayer life has been through many changes over the years. As a young mother, I had a five-year-old, a three-year-old, and a one-year-old, and I found the only time I could really pray was literally in the middle of the night. If I woke up then, I would pray. As the kids grew older, I began to get up at 4:30 in the morning to pray. I still don't have ideal conditions for regular prayer. As a mother of three teenagers and working full time, I sometimes get too tired to pray. But most days I'm able to work in some time for quiet prayer.

Because of my changing schedule over the years, I've asked myself, Just what does God expect of me in my prayer life? The answer I come up with is he wants a love relationship. He doesn't want a hired servant; he wants a bride. A true love will always find a way. It may not always be the same way, or the prescribed way, but it will be a way that reflects love. That's what God wants from me."

In my nine short months of being a mom, the thing that has surprised me the most is the constant change. As soon as I feel like we are getting into a routine, Lewis moves on to a new stage and everything shifts. It sounds like this is going to continue until he and any future siblings are out on their own. Judy's perspective reflects that graciousness that many of you have mentioned before. It's much more desirable to pray when true love is the goal, and not mere duty. It's kind of like laundry and dishes. :)

a really good Friday

2007-04-06T09:19:00.000-06:00

"'He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.' When they hurled insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls."--1 Peter 2:22-25 (verse 22 quoted from Isaiah 53:9)

This story never gets old. What Jesus did in suffering for us is just as amazing today as it was 2000 years ago. In our "me" driven society, we just don't see people humbling themselves for the good of others, and when they do they are certainly rewarded for it. Our sinless Savior did not try to defend himself, but sought instead the favor of a heavenly judge, and an eternal glory.

recipe website

2007-04-04T10:02:00.000-06:00

I heard about this website from my friend Heather's blog. She's pregnant with her fourth boy so she is a magnet for time-saving tips! This site offers menus with recipes and shopping lists for a week's worth of meals in several categories of recipes like slow-cooker, vegetarian and heart healthy. It's worth checking out at www.savingdinner.com . Thanks, Heather!

traditions?

2007-04-03T14:17:00.000-06:00

With Easter fast approaching, it's got me wondering about holidays and what kinds of things we can do to make them special for Lewis while still keeping the meaning of the holiday at the forefront. Growing up we had Easter baskets and went to church. We did an Easter egg hunt around the house usually, and mom made a coconut cake. We were all happy that Jesus rose from the dead, but I just don't have a very vivid picture in my mind of much regarding our celebration of Easter.

I do remember when I was in high school that mom realized that we did not have a lot of "traditions," and felt like it was time to develop some things. At that age we were all quite reluctant to go along with too many of her suggestions. So while our family is pretty young, it would be great to hear what some others of you do to celebrate Easter (or other holidays). Any ideas?

our high priest

2007-03-30T21:55:00.000-06:00

"...because Jesus lives forever, he has a permanent priesthood. Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them. Such a high priest meets our need--one who is holy, blameless, pure, set apart from sinners, exalted above the heavens. Unlike the other high priests, he does not need to offer sacrifices day after day, first for his own sins, and then for the sins of the people. He sacrificed for their sins once for all when he offered himself."--Hebrews 7:24-27

Easter is right around the corner, which is in itself a great reminder of God's forgiveness through Jesus' death. These verses use strong language looking back on Christ's sacrifice as a complete act. Once we accept it as the payment for our sins (in our past, present and even future) we are completely forgiven and completely saved. These verses paint a picture of Jesus at the right hand of the Father, constantly interceding on our behalf.

Before we got married, Justin and I went through premarital counseling which was so beneficial for us. We look back on it often and the things we learned, though we do not always put them into practice the way we'd like to. A Christian counselor and his wife organized the sessions, and lead us through several exercises. One week they taught us how to fight. This was not a physical exercise, thank goodness! They wanted us to learn to communicate in such a way that we did not cause the other person to shut down. In marriage, as in all human relationships, language using words like "always" or "never" is typically an exaggeration and they encouraged us to avoid these types of accusations. For example, "You never encourage me," or "You are always late." Humans on the whole are inconsistent and statements like these are almost never true of any one person.

But when it comes to God, and Jesus our high priest, words like "always" and "forever" are the only ones that fit. His character is so consistent and steadfast that anything less would be a lie. In a world where imperfection is the norm, we have a perfect priest who sacrificed himself (not a lamb or a dove), and even now intercedes for us. His love is active and is always working for you.

back home

2007-03-28T21:28:00.000-06:00

We are back home after visiting my sister. It was tiring, but a lot of fun. Lewis did really well traveling and meeting new people. He was ecstatic to see Justin when we finally got home and it was so precious to see their cute reunion. Being away was really refreshing. I didn't necessarily feel it in the moment, but being back home I can tell that it made a difference. My sisters are lots of fun and probably the most comfortable of all the relationships I have. They're just easy. We still bicker and get on each other's nerves some, but there is a sense of understanding too-- that we are family and will always be around.

It was super nice having a 3:1 adult to child ratio. Lewis had all the attention he could ever want, but still got to play by himself some. It was a good balance. The weather was beautiful and there were no traveling mishaps. I'm really grateful for a good first road trip under our belt. It gives me hope for the future.

I had no access to the internet while we were gone, but really appreciated the comments on the last post. I do find that I continually need encouragement toward godly living/parenting and do hope to attend a MOPS meeting soon. It is easy to worry about so many things as a parent, and especially the way other people view me and the job I'm doing as a mom. It really should not be about that at all, and I pray that we can help remind each other of these things when the temptation comes to judge ourselves or those around us. It is so hard to believe sometimes that God loves my child more than I do, AND that he made each person with a distinct purpose and loves every one in an unconditional way. It is too much for me to wrap my brain around most days. Still I know that all of my efforts rest in the hands of the one who made me and my child. He is the only one who can really change a person, even the littlest of persons (though he may not change them in the way we expect). As much as these little people learn every day, we are learning too! It all comes round full circle.

on the road

2007-03-22T10:28:00.000-06:00

Lewis and I are getting ready to take our first road trip. I'm kind of excited, and kind of afraid! We're not sure if he's teething or what, but his diapers have been disgusting(which is REALLY unusual for him) and he's been very fussy--chewing on everything etc. So the car ride could be soothing, or we could have to make a lot of stops to freshen up. We'll see how it goes. We're picking up my sister in Louisville for the last 6 hours of the journey which will be very helpful!

This week has been strange. I guess the plight of the woman includes varying emotions. The last few days have been a roller coaster for me. Lewis seemed to be learning a lot and then he went on a kissing strike and a talking strike which we added to his constant mobility strike. All that together made me feel like bad mother for a couple of days. I'm sure that others out there feel like this sometimes. You look around at other babies, (and of course we all know we're not supposed to compare because babies all develop at their own pace) and you wonder if you're doing a good job of helping your offspring learn all the things he needs to get through this life. After some good crying spells, and a little time away from the little guy, my emotions turned around. Lewis woke up Tuesday morning giving kisses without being prompted and generally acting like he loves me, and my joy as a mother returned almost instantly.

It occurred to me that we learn the same things over and over in life. Our joy and satisfaction is supposed to be found in Christ, but we continually try to find contentment in other things and realize again and again that nothing else fills the void. Just like Lewis, some things we have to learn again OR just remember that we already know them in the first place. I wish I had some more wisdom to share this week, but that's all I've got for now. Hopefully we'll survive the trip and have some stories to tell later. :)

living water

2007-03-16T14:40:00.000-06:00

“Those who drink the water I give them will never thirst.” --John 4:14

The last couple of days have left me feeling "blah." Do you know what I mean? It might have been the grayness of yesterday morning that started it, but it is that feeling of almost numbness toward life. The word "community" stuck out to me when I was looking at this blog's subtitle and it has not been the topic of any posts so far. Not really, anyway. And so today I've been turning it over in mind and it seems like that is what is lacking in my life.

There is a lot to be grateful for, don't get me wrong. I'm thrilled to be married (most of the time!) and happy to be a mom of a funny little guy who gets more interesting as the days go by. But it feels like community in the true sense of the word is hard to locate and sustain, and it gets harder as we get deeper into adulthood. We have pockets of friends in various places: church, work, Spencer's connections, cyberspace. It just feels different and maybe more shallow than past situations have been.

College is a good example. There were people everywhere and it was easy to find friends to hang out with in the dorms. I was part of a ministry with goals and accountability that seemed to be making a difference. Now it takes real effort to even plan something simple, get the husband on board (if men are included), get Lewis fed, dressed etc. and out the door somewhere near on time. Is this just me? Please feel free to tell me if so.

It is cooler today, in the 50s, but sunny so Lewis and I went for a long walk all around downtown. We walked almost to the bypass (near Puerto Vallerta for those of you familiar with BG) so that I could glance at a yard sale. The sun and fresh air provided some comfort. It was nice to walk and clear my head. When I got home I was looking at that Radiant newsletter thing and found another great article from last week that really hit home with my mood.

Here is a rather long excerpt by writer Casey Manes:

"The thirst of a woman’s soul replicates this physical need for water, only it is often much more difficult to tame. Jesus said to come to Him and He would give those who believe in Him living water; in fact, He would be to them the Living Water. I’ve heard that so many times, I assume I’ve got it down. Then I’m disappointed by a friend, or I feel misunderstood by my husband, and the demand of my thirst rears its monstrous self—a thirst and longing to be known, to be needed, to not thirst anymore.

I can’t count the number of times I’ve been with girlfriends, and the conversation boils down to one similar point; we’ve been disappointed by someone, by life, by our current circumstances. Hoping that once the wedding gets here, or the baby comes, or the promotion happens that a lasting quenching of our thirst will finally occur.

I am continuing to learn that to grow in my relationship with Christ means that my identity and hope come from Him alone. Not from hopes of what circumstances I dream will come my way, or hopes in how others will come through for me, but hoping in Christ and His love for me. The startling truth I’m realizing in this journey is that in order to be truly filled by Christ, I have to admit the disappointments I’ve encountered.

Disappointments and heartaches that are given to God free me to look to Him alone for my fulfillment. This can be scary because it means admitting to myself that others have let me down—that my husband can’t fulfill my every need, that my parents won’t always be there for me in the way I expect them to be. It’s giving other people permission not to be my living water, and asking Christ to step into those shoes instead. "

This is really what I am thirsting for. Community is important and I continue to long for it in a real, deep and transformational kind of way. But in order for me to be a vibrant part of it, I have to be first satisfied by this Living Water. Undoubtedly there will always be a sense of discontentedness this side of heaven. God surely intended us to hunger for something beyond this earthly life. Still, if He is willing to fill me up here, in this moment, that is enough for now.

A side note: There is a house two doors down up for auction next Saturday (3-24). It is a major fixer-upper, but should go quite cheaply (less than $30,000--seriously!!). It would really be cool to have some fun neighbors. Anyone interested?

sarah's article

2007-03-14T12:40:00.000-06:00

A friend and fellow blogger, Sarah Wilson, just had an article published in the Radiant newsletter. It is connected to Relevant Magazine, if that helps! Congratulations, Sarah. Keep them coming! To read her article click HERE.

good times

2007-03-12T08:49:00.000-06:00

"Greet one another with a holy kiss."--2 Corinthians 13:12

The other day I realized that Lewis is outgrowing his current wardrobe, and with the warm weather (it has been in the 70s several days recently) it seemed like a good time to try out a "new" outfit. It had been a while since he had anything new to wear and I guess I forgot how fun it is to see Lewis in something different. Maybe it's a way of reverting back to my childhood and dressing my dolls or something, but my heart wells up with pride and genuine joy when I get to pick out and dress Lewis in new outfits. It's one of my favorite parts of motherhood.

Another new thing for us has been getting kisses from our boy! After one of his female friends, who will remain nameless, gave him a kiss last week, we decided to try teaching Lewis to give kisses too. I was amazed at how quickly he figured it out. He started kissing me as I prompted him excitedly saying, "Give mama a kiss!" while directing his mouth toward my cheek. We moved on to his glo-worm which worked pretty well too. He was hesitant to kiss his daddy at first, but eventually figured that out after kissing his Aunt Monica, and then himself in the mirror. I'll say "Kiss Lewis!" and he moves in and absolutely cracks himself up! This morning after his first feeding, he spontaneously gave me a kiss for the first time. What a sweet boy!! His kisses remain pretty sloppy at this point, but I love getting them regardless. :)

It occurred to me after thinking about the last few days that being a mom has it tough spots, but the joys that come from watching babies grow is infinitely priceless. What a fun way to learn about life, ourselves and the God who created us.

What are you finding joy in as a mother right now?

humility

2007-03-07T08:41:00.000-06:00

"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."--Philippians 2:1-4

Yesterday I spent some time praying through this passage. It is one that always convicts me because no matter how much I grow spiritually, the issues of vanity and selfishness are hard to overcome. Our small group was challenged to spend some time in silence this week in an attempt to hear from God and make prayer more of a two-way conversation. With Lewis napping, it was not hard to sense the Lord communicating some things to me! I felt sins of pride and selfishness weighing heavy on me, especially the way I relate to Justin so much of the time. My desire is to put his needs above my own, but following through on that gets hard as the day wears on. My other area of weakness seems to be my tongue. I get myself into so much trouble by speaking rashly and without forethought. Of course, that is more a heart issue than anything because whatever I say comes from what is stored inside. All of this junk can be overwhelming, but God did not stop there.

More than anything, in the silence I sensed God's desire to commune with me. The first part of this passage shows that IF we have fellowship with the Spirit, comfort from Christ's love and so on, THEN we can love and serve and do these other things He desires us to do. An aquaintance recently shared with us how he is seeking to let Christ serve him. When you look at the gospels, Christ was looking for followers, but more than anything He was a servant--healing the sick and feeding the masses both physically and spiritually. It is humbling (and somewhat uncomfortable) to let other people serve us sometimes, let alone the Lord who we can't see, and yet it makes sense that He longs to do this in our lives even today. The passage continues:

"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness."

It takes humility to serve, but it also takes humility to let someone else serve you. We spend most of our days serving our families, especially the smallest members of them! My prayer is that you would find a few minutes today to let God serve you. Silence is most definitely a blessing when it happens! :)

p.s. Thanks to the moms who shared about adding to the family. Your knowledge is invaluable!

shelter

2007-03-01T18:08:00.000-06:00

"In God alone there is rest for my soul,...my rock, my safety, my stronghold so that I stand unshaken."--(Psalm 62:1-2)

Some thoughts from Joyce Rupp's book May I Have This Dance on finding our shelter in the Lord: "Another reason we might not lean very well is that we may not know and trust God enough. We may dread the thought of being vulnerable--even to God. We may fear what will happen to us if we surrender ourselves to God, or we may find ourselves getting tired of having to lean on God. We'd like to be able to take care of the pain by ourselves. I once saw a cartoon that said, 'God, would you help me with this, but make it look like I did it all by myself?'

The Hebrew psalms are filled with images of God as an encircling shield, a shelter, a stronghold when times are difficult, a rock, a fortress, someone who revives our soul and girds us with strength, shelters us under an awning and hides us deep in a protective tent. God is a comfort in illness and a light in the darkness. What a wonderful opportunity we have to take our struggles to this God and receive encouragement, consolation, compassion, understanding, and full acceptance."

Joyce's words encouraged me today, and I hope they do the same for you!

To hear Sandra McCracken's song "Shelter" click HERE and view her performing it live in her living room.

*Moms with multiple children are still encouraged to add advice to the last post at their leisure (if they get some leisure time!).

more than one?

2007-02-26T14:38:00.000-06:00

Do you have more than one child? There are several of us out there with just one baby, contemplating the prospect of adding another munchkin to the family. Your input would be appreciated. How did your second child affect things? What are the positives and negatives of two (or more)? What about your marriage? What are some things you recommend couples to think about before having another child? How did your first child react? Do you recommend any kind of spacing between children and why? What has helped you most in managing your children?

These are just a few questions. Honestly, I'm not sure that I even know the right questions to ask. If you have two or more kids, please post ANY thoughts on this. If there are other questions you would like answered, feel free to post those as well.

Thank you!! :)

helpless

2007-02-21T09:57:00.000-06:00

"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;" --Isaiah 49:15-16

Prayer has become an unintentional focus for me these days. I got a book for Christmas called "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children" (which I highly recommend!). From a different angle, Justin and I are part of a small group that is currently going through Philip Yancey's book "Prayer: Does It Make Any Difference?" It's interesting how prayer and sacrifice go together. It seems to be the link that taps us in to our power source so we can continue to sacrifice for our families.

Yancey suggests in his book that a mother's unconditional love for her children mimics God's love for us. "I think of the way mothers dote on their infants, who offer so little in return. Every sneeze, every turn of the head and dart of the eyes, every whimper and smile the mother scrutinizes as if studying for a test on infantile behavior. If a human mother responds with such absorbing love, how much more so God," he writes. Adults, on the other hand, mirror infants in relation to God. Babies are utterly helpless. Yes, eventually they grow into independence, but they need their parents desperately for the early stages of life. In contrast, we never outgrow our dependence on the Lord. We may lose sight of it temporarily, but we kid ourselves when we try to live independently of Him.

Our children require us to sacrifice much. To quote Jeanette from her comment, "Motherhood presents opportunities to die to self in a thousand ways every day... it kind of gives our selflessness muscle a daily workout. And God sees every bit of it." It is hard sometimes to see the spiritual realm, especially if our house is messy or our baby is crying! But keeping that unseen world at the forefront of our minds gives us hope and reminds us that we can't do it on our own. We are helpless and needy for the God who delights in meeting our every need. Prayer puts God in His rightful position in our lives--our Creator, Sustainer, Provider. It is comforting to know that just because I don't sense His presence one day, He is no less present. We are engraved on the palms of His hands. You can't get much closer than that!

what is sacrifice?

2007-02-16T13:26:00.000-06:00

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will."--Romans 12:1-2

After the last post, there were several comments surrounding the idea of sacrifice. Honestly, that was not the intended focus of that blog entry, but some really great comments came as a result. Webster's defines sacrifice "to give up, destroy, permit injury to, or forgo (something valued) for the sake of something having a more pressing claim." Starting with pregnancy and continuing into motherhood, sacrifice becomes a big part of every mother's life. It is not something altogether unfamiliar, especially to someone who has accepted Christ's sacrifice alone to pay for her sins. Christ modeled sacrifice by giving his life so that we can be forgiven which enables us to stand in God's presence, not on our own merits, but solely on the basis of His merciful act. Obviously no sacrifice we make would ever come close to this ultimate act. Still, we are called to offer ourselves in worship to the Lord, in light of His mercy toward us.

As a believer this means that I must be careful not to follow the patterns of this world, but to allow God to transform my very thinking so that my decisions can fall in line with His will. Some patterns that I would suggest are rampant in our society are greed, materialism, the pursuit of personal happiness (leaving behind a spouse when he/she no longer makes me happy etc.), comfort and convenience. We rationalize sins we enjoy with a loose interpretation of scripture to make it say what we'd like it to. For example, many Christians today think surely God did not intend us to be sexually pure, for example, so long as we are morally better than the next guy. We must take God and the Bible seriously because it is through his written word that we know his character and ultimately know Him!

When we look at God's mercy to us, the things that we give up seem altogether insignificant. And yet, at the same time, these things may feel very painful. These sacrifices, great and small, almost always yield a result of growth. For example, by forgoing chocolate, pre-pregnancy size (or something close to it) can be attained much more quickly. Any of us would say that the outcome merits the sacrifice, but in the moment it can be painful if your cravings are strong.

As a parent, many sacrifices are automatic. If you breastfeed, your day is certainly broken up into 2 to 3 hour segments, which really limits what you are able to accomplish. Personally, I would never trade the result of giving my baby the food that is medically proven to be the best for him. It is hard work, but at the same time it is terribly rewarding and fulfilling. Alone time is virtually out the window, sleeping in is rare and nights out are few and far between.

Focusing on what we give up as mothers can be harmful. Rejoicing in the outcome can be incredibly encouraging.

On the flip-side, we shouldn't feel guilty about enjoying certain blessings in life. Justin and I had a very pleasant Valentine's date this week. With the help of some thawed milk and a friend visiting, we really enjoyed getting away by ourselves for a few hours. We appreciated it so much more because those times are rare. But being away from time to time actually helps us to be better parents because we come back refreshed. Giving up or forgoing a night out would not have been a real sacrifice at all because there would not have been "a more pressing claim" to stay home for (since Lewis was well cared for etc.). Ultimately, each of us is called to give up different things at different times, but God never asks us to sacrifice just for the sake of doing it. There will always be some benefit, be it a stronger character, or a better figure.

This has turned out much longer than I intended!! Forgive the theological tone, and feel free to continue the discussion on sacrifice.

want comments?

2007-02-09T10:39:00.000-06:00

To make it easier to read each other's comments, I wanted to make it possible for you to receive newly posted comments via email. Often these comments contain tons of useful and encouraging info, and many of you do not have time to go digging through old posts to find new comments. If you would like to be added to the email list, either leave a comment on this post, or email me at shelleygwen@gmail.com.

God sees you!

2007-02-08T13:28:00.000-06:00

"My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip--he who watches over you will not slumber............The Lord watches over you--the Lord is your shade at your right hand."--Psalm 121:2-5

Well, the other day wore me out. Tuesday was a bad day for Lewis. He had a hard time with his teeth and other digestive issues which made him hard to handle. It was Justin's day off (though this is usually on Mondays) and by the time he got up after 10 a.m. I was ready for a break. Justin was more than agreeable to let me go, and so that afternoon, I got away. I stopped in to see a friend, but just for a few minutes. It was nice to have my arms free and I drove around while listening to an old Christmas Conference talk on God. Mostly just how big and awesome he is. The main passage was from Job. It was a nice back-drop to turn my thoughts heaven-ward after a frustrating morning.

Well, I went into T.J. Maxx to see what they had. I love their home stuff. They always have really cool stationery and journals. I was looking at some coffee mugs when a couple of items caught my eye. I picked them up to read the label to be sure, but on the shelves in Bowling Green, KY was the real thing--Polish pottery! You have to understand, after living in Eastern Europe for 2 years, Polish pottery is a treasure, and one that we would travel 13 hours by train to obtain. One of the sacrifices of becoming a parent for me has been international travel. Once you live abroad it gets in your blood and it feels confining to stay in the U.S. for too long. It's not something I think of consciously very often. When I saw that pottery, it felt like God was saying, "You may not be able to go to Poland, but I brought a piece of Poland here to you." It was like he was telling me that even when things seem mundane and trying in my little world, he still sees me and loves me. Often times it seems like my trials as a mother are so small in comparison with war and famine that I forget that God is aware of me every minute. Needless to say, I spent some leftover birthday money buying several things! They now serve as reminders that God is huge and is willing to surprise me when i need a lift.

I highly recommend getting away if the opportunity arises. When I got home, Justin was quite frazzled himself which I hate to say brought me some inward joy. He now understands me a little better, and the absence definitely made my heart grow fonder toward Lewis!

as iron sharpens iron

2007-02-03T23:06:00.000-06:00

"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."--Proverbs 27:17

Thanks so much for all of your comments that you've posted! I have been so encouraged by your honesty and willingness to type your thoughts onto this blog. Even the hard things are somehow uplifting because it seems like we all share some burdens in common. To make it easier to continue introducing ourselves, and keeping up with new additions, there is now a link to that post on the right of this page. Check back periodically to see any new 'faces' on the blog. A few people added comments in just the last couple of days. What a nice way to re-connect or meet someone new. My prayer life is improving just thinking about you all and what you are going through. It is so nice to take the focus off of my own life for a while.

Thanks for helping to sharpen other women! May God grant you some 'rest' this weekend.

how do you do it?

2007-02-01T09:17:00.000-06:00

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." --John 15:5

The last few days have been so busy. Our coffee shop taxes were due yesterday for the 4th quarter '06. Monday was devoted to getting those done. The last couple of days were spent with friends and family and doing general housekeeping. Lewis has been teething, sometimes waking up in the night, which has led to some extra fatigue. It has not been bad, but at the same time it has been hard to focus on the Lord for more than a few minutes which eventually becomes evident in my attitude (ask my husband!). I realize that good chunks of devotional time is out the window, and that God is merciful in that (like Heather Morozov mentioned in her introduction), but I would love to hear some words of wisdom on this subject. How do you stay connected to the vine in the busy-ness of life with children? Many of you have much more on your plate than I do so my hope is that you have some knowledge in this area. :)

chin powder

2007-01-29T09:52:00.000-06:00

QUICK TIP: If your baby has a double chin (like mine does!), putting powder under there after his bath helps keep him from getting a rash under there. Don't learn the hard way!

be still

2007-01-27T08:03:00.000-06:00

"Be still and know that I am God;" Psalm 46:10

Yesterday, I got to talk to my friend Yulia. We hadn’t talked in a long time! It had been so long that we had both gotten married and had babies since we last spoke. She is from Belarus and we were both on the Campus Crusade staff team serving in Minsk a few years back. Her husband is an American and they are staying with his family in Indiana as they prepare to go back to Albania where they are currently assigned. Talking to her made me realize that being a parent of a young child is similar in many ways to living in Belarus. Any of you who have been there know what I mean. Instead of packing a day with appointments and classes, running from one thing to the next, I had to be satisfied with accomplishing one or two tasks each day. Everything takes longer in Minsk due to public transportation, the relational lifestyle, and the random hours that various businesses are open during the week (among other things!).

Being a mom is so much like that. I have an idea each day of what I would like to accomplish. Depending on Lewis’ mood, naps etc., there are few days that turn out how I would expect. Yulia passed on some words a friend of hers had shared recently. I can’t quote her exactly but the sentiment was to relax! We can fight it, but in the end it is much easier to go with the flow. God knew what he was doing when he gave us our children, and if our list goes undone there is probably a reason. Often the Lord, like Lewis much of the time, just wants my attention. I’m sure he appreciates the acts of service I try to do for him, but more than any of that he wants my heart. Why is it so hard to remember it is that simple?

launching pad

2007-01-24T12:37:00.000-06:00

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."--Ephesians 3:20-21

When my sister Beth brought me a Boppy pillow early on in my pregnancy with Lewis, I had no idea what it was! Now it has been used for nursing and helping Lewis sit up. Its most recent use is as a launching pad for standing. When he is done eating, I will set it back toward my knees and sit him on it facing me. On his own he started pushing up and standing and now does it with relative ease. It blows my mind how he is never satisfied with where he is. With eagerness he looks to move on to the next level. With a few days left in January, now is a good time to look back to see what God has done in the last year, but also to look ahead to hope for what he might do this year.

A few things I've witnessed him do last year (you may recognize some of these stories): He brought Lewis safely into our lives and got us through our yucky 10-day stay in the NICU; He allowed some friends of ours to naturally conceive and give birth to a baby girl when a run-in with cancer made their chance to do so virtually impossible; He blessed another friend with a baby boy through adoption after losing both parents the year before in a drunk driving accident; and He surrounded us with all kinds of people like you who are having babies and can share life with us. Sometimes it is easy to lose sight of all the good things as time takes us from the initial joy and shock of something big God does. This year my goal is to look for God to move in even bigger ways and to work alongside him, eagerly pushing myself to the next level. I can't do it alone! Below you'll find a place to introduce yourself if you'd like to share anything with the others reading along. I changed the comments capability so that anyone can leave comments and do so anonymously if you want! You can check back in on that post for added comments in the days to come. On this post, please comment on anything awesome you have seen God do this past year and any prayer requests or goals for 2007.

introduce yourself!

2007-01-23T22:20:00.000-06:00

It has been fun to see your comments from the first post. It's great to know I'm not alone! As Heather requested, here is an opportunity to introduce yourselves if you want to. On Blogger, comments have no limit. So to anyone who is interested, please post a comment and use these questions as a guide, answering as many as you like (recommend using CTRL + C to copy this list, and then CTRL + V to paste in the comments section!):

FULL NAME:
PERSONAL URL or BLOG:
HOMETOWN:
CURRENT LOCATION:
YEARS MARRIED:
CHILDREN AND THEIR AGES:
VOCATIONAL SITUATION:
WHAT I'M EXCITED ABOUT IN MY LIFE:
STRUGGLE(S) IN MY LIFE:
OTHER INFO YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME:

If you would like to send a picture, email me at shelleygwen@gmail.com and I'll post them for you. I cannot claim to be a life expert so I really look forward to learning from you. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

less pictures, more words

2007-01-22T14:32:00.000-06:00

"Train a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not turn from it".--Proverbs 22:6

Welcome to The Momspot! As a relatively new mom (almost 7 months now), I have been overwhelmed at the responsibility, joy and change that has entered into my life. It is easy to feel isolated because I am a full time, stay-at-home mom. And yet there is a desire within me to be connected somehow to the outside world, and especially to others like me--moms of young children. My hope for this blog is to be real and honest--posting short words of encouragement, struggle and/or challenge from a Biblical perspective. Justin, my husband, and I are on the long road of learning to be parents who put the Lord at the center of our home. We want to raise our son, Lewis, to be a follower of Jesus Christ. What that means is that we often have to lay aside our own opinions, as well as those of our culture, even friends and family when it does not fit in with what God teaches through the Bible.

It is a struggle that I embrace because deep in my heart I know God's plan is far better than mine ever could be. He loves Lewis way more than I ever could and has his best in mind. God is the DEFINER of good and the CREATOR of truth. That truth is what I hope to explore through this blog. Feel free to post your comments and opinions. My goal is to challenge and encourage myself with truth and in the process encourage anyone who may visit here. There should be a range of humor and seriousness because that is how life is with babies! All that to say that this blog will consist of less pictures and more words than our regular family blog at www.shepherdfam.blogspot.com.